no surprises

Seems like birthdays are just some measurement of how long you've been around. Some say it's just some kind of measurement of how far have you gotten in life. OR, how underachieved you are still.

Well to me, it seems like i've been spending my 23 years on education. From pre-school, to elementary/secondary school and then to further study. At my age, some are married, working, dead etc. So it's not quite true to say that i'm underachieved at my age but i'm also not that far in life. Still living off mom and dad, no real asets.

Well age is certainly NOT a measuring stick for how mature you are. That's for sure. So does education. I don't think smart people are wise people. I don't feel like 23 years living and studying or qualifies me to judge anyone. It's not fair for me to say that your job suck, or your relationship is messed up or you are so stupid. because maturity comes from experience. And i just think if you have experienced a lot and mature through those experiences then you could probably have a say. But i bet it will come out right. For example, it wouldn';t sound like an insult when someone who work as a CEO tells you that your job sucks or, someone who is married with 17 children says your realtion ship suck and you don't deserve him/her bla bla. Who are we to justify saying all those things when we are just 20+ and haven't seen or experience anything real yet.

I always grasp this concept of you should take responsibility of your action AND what you said. If i say something and i know it;'s wrong i think it will save a lot of time if i be responsible and apologize or correct what i've said instead letting my ego side take over. But it's not so simple. It's not a piece of cake. We are also responsible for our dignity which where our ego lies. Would you apologize to your enemy if you're wrong. That's where responsible took over a whole new meaning. Responsible of saving our face. Multiply it by 2 (it takes 2 too tango), and you'd probably have few of stalemate arguments. Being responsible is hard. ITs harder when you reach that time and age where your responsibilites are not only your own but others. And you have to be prepared to be responsible of actions of others. Can you dig it?

When i was little i really wanted to grow up quickly so i can have money and be super cool. You know how it's like when you were in school and you wanted to be a policeman or gaban just for the sake of coolness. But now, come to think of it, i want to be in that moment where you're on your own doing cool stuff with out the burden of responsibility. Like when you're on a vacation, but not with your mom and dad (when you're little) or when you have to cut short your vacation coz you have to show up for work on mondays(when you're all grown up) but when you can like for example, lay naked on the beach all day long without ever having to think about anything. I know i have moments like those. And wouldn';t it be cool if those moments are looped so i can hold on to that feeling forever. Dream on.

I've been thinking about my life blueprint. And i think i need to re-sketch it. Its not as simple as *school>work>get rich>marry>kids>get closer to god>die* anymore. Hurm, but we'll never see the big picture, so why bother rite?. **maybe i'll stick to the basic malaysian life's blueprint and be a mold product of a proud malaysian. And then bitch about prices/tolls/fuel and shit going sky high.

to those who wished me happy birthday , thanks, to those who didn;t next year u still can. A very special thanks goes to farah just because she's special. :D

**maybe not all malaysian are living like that. but a lot are. Its easy but, its sorta like the matrix. routine and shit. i've gotta stop this dreaming because i know the only way for me to get through for my next birthday is to follow the so called blueprint.