Standard Chartered Kuala Lumpur International Marathon (SCKLM) 2017 Race Notes

Finished & PB. Those hills at the end tho 🏔😅 42.2km ⌚4:09:23 (Garmin) 📈 279m

A post shared by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on May 20, 2017 at 6:53pm PDT

Pre-Race

1. Got my race kit, got some gels and checked into Quality Hotel on Saturday. Packed dinner from SOGO.

2. In terms of gear, my Skechers 4 Go Run and was the footwear of choice (no choice - my only shoe currently lol). I wore a 3/4 tights with the issued race shirt. 5 high 5 gels (+ another 2 on course) with 5 salt pills.

Race Day

3. Shakeout, breakfast, poop, warm up and baggage drop. I was lazy to get to the pen entrance which was on the other side from where I was so I climbed into my starting pen. The goal was to go under 4 hours or close to it.

4. With that in mind, I executed my pacing strategy. The first 8 km, effort and cadence was good. I was around 5:50 min/km which was a bit off goal avg pace but I know there was still a long way to go to make up for it. I wanted to really get in the groove before increasing the effort. But, then stomach started feeling a bit sloshy after getting some water and gel down. So I decided to run it off to see whether it's just the stomach waking up. At 10km, it's confirmed, I needed to take a dump. I can't be running with all the "baggage" in me so I stopped, offload and ran again.

5. I actually came closest to the 4hr pacers at around the U turn point at AKLEH (or was it duke?) around 12km. So I was not that concerned about my pace but I planned to stop at 15km for Subuh. So I knew I had to later somehow make up the gap to the 4 hr pacers. Once I reached the mobile surau, there was still 15 minutes to Subuh. So I had to continue on. At around 17-18km, I had to take another dump. So that got me really worried and annoyed. If I was breaking 4, it's going to be close because of all the unplanned stops.

6. At around the half way mark, stopped for Subuh. Before I resumed, checked my average pace and it was at 6min/km. And I was like 5 minutes off my split goal time at 21km mark. So naturally, I panicked and decided to increase my effort and try to reduce the deficit. It was too early in the race to attack but I had to risk it. I knew I had to get to goal pace (or the pacers) before the hilly section. But I did reserved some energy for the hills.

7. So, up to 30km the main goal was to reduce avg pace and I was at around 5:49/km at 30km. It was not good enough. Attacked all downhills. As I entered the hilly sections at around 32km I kind of knew I was not going to make it but I still pushed on hoping that I could take advantage of the downhill.

8. At 35km, the hills proved too much for me. I cramped, but not too bad and had to alternate walking/running on the hills. Going down hill, had to sometime stop and stretch the legs. It was demotivating but I didn't give up and just ran as hard as I could. I had nothing to lose at that point. But my form was already all over the place.

9. Nearing 41km, I passed 4 hours. I stopped and walked to the nearest aid station. It was as if I planned to run exactly 4 hours that day. I know I wanted to go close to 4 hours but all motivation and focus I had just went away. I started to think about the aches and pain. There wasn't any incentive for me to push it anymore. So for the rest of the race, my only real motivation to run/jog was to finish the race and reunite with my family. And I manage just that.  

Post Race

10. Walking to collect the finisher tee and medal, my head was down and I was so fatigued. Then my wife and kids were screaming for me by the side of the finisher tent area and that somewhat cheered me up. Met some friends afterwards but I was so tired to hang around so decided to get back to the hotel. But not after I took another dump at the mobile porta potty.

11. So with that, I ended my SCKLM 2017 with my goal quite literally down the toilet.

Race Notes

12. Race itenerary kind of went like this:

Saturday
02:00 PM: Race kit collection/got gels
01:00 PM: Check in & rest
05:00 PM: Recce race site, goof around with the kids at finish line and met with some friends
07:00 PM: Got dinner
08:00 PM: Dinner & prepare race gear/shirt
09:00 PM: Sleep

Sunday
02:50 AM: Shakekout run, eat & shower
03:30 AM: Warm up to venue & sort out drop bag
03:50 AM: Wait in starting pen
04:00 AM: Race
08:10 AM: Finish Race
08:30 AM: Gather myself/cool down
08:50 AM: Poop and get back to hotel
09:00 AM: Rest/hydrate/eat & check phone
09:45 AM: Went to the pool to check on kids
11:30 AM: Check out
12:45 PM: Lunch
02:00 PM: Home and sleep

13. The race cost me:

Registration: RM90
Accomodation: RM222
Travel to venue & Race kit Collection: 1hr  (Quality Hotel, 45 km x 2)
Traveling cost: Conservative estimate at RM0.40/km : 90 km X RM0.4/km = RM36 ~ RM40 (plus toll)
Travel distance from hotel to start line: 1km
Waiting for toilet: NA
Sorting out drop bag: No issue

14. Race Detail:

Placing (Time diff. to leader): 148/3222 (+1:33:20) [First Malaysian 2:35:56]
Time: 4:09:17
Pace: 5:54/km
Distance: 42.2km
Elevation: 279m  - my Garmin (some recorded up to 500m)

*FM Malaysian Open Category

Race Comments

15. For RM 352 I think it was worth it considering the race facilities and services provided. The baggage drop was quick, everything was well marked, volunteers were plenty, hydration/nutrition were good. They could cut the huge banana in half though. I think it was a bit wasteful. I could've saved by travelling to the venue on race day but I think I made a wise choice since I got extra sleep and having not worry about parking etc. It also allow my family to be there at the finish and they had a great time being out there through out the 2 days as well. The last time I did SCKLM I remembered running around Pavilion and KLCC. The new course wasn't as scenic but it is what it is. Overall, the race was simply professional and the atmosphere was electric/awesome. There were so much energy at the start. Basically, everything you would want at a race was encapsulated in SCKLM 2017.

16. As far as my race is concerned, I probably took for granted pre race nutrtion because I never had any stomach issues. Like ever. Until that day. But when I look back at it, most of my races were mainly just about finishing and this was actually the first time I set a time goal and kind of trained for it. So the intensity and the pressure must have got something to do with it.

17. I could've also be more specific with my training. The race was like a long run + long hill repeats near the end. And I just didn't do that kind of training.

18. On the upside, the progressive runs, long runs + some track session helped a lot in terms of holding pace. I didn't bonk and I didn't feel like my legs were completely gone. I manage to push it and passed some runners even after 32 km (the wall). So I guess that was down to training. Mileage wise I probably did enough but wasn't specific to the demand of the race and it showed.

19. At a personal level, I want to run well, especially after my previous two marathon attempt ended up in me limping the last 10km to the finish. Finished 5:30 and 5:45 or something like that. I can't (or don't want to) remember.  A sub 4 marathon would look good on my running resume too and provided a well deserved redemption.

20. I wanted to make every race or whatever I'm doing count because I feel I owe it to my family for all the time they have granted me/I have taken away from them. It gives me great satisfaction to train and execute a race by giving all I could on race day. It rationalizes all the time spent training and lessen the feeling of guilt. I think that day, apart from the toilet stops, I gave it all for 41km. I was demoralized after 4 hours and spent the last 1km feeling sorry for myself haha.

21. I didn't want to go down regretting and wishing I could've done better, but I did. My race plan was executed up to the 8km mark and afterwards I was pretty desperate chasing shadows. Thousands of "what ifs" circulated at the back of my mind after the race. And the main thing I was totally upset about was the toilet stops. Just to rub salt into the wound, Garmin showed my moving time was 3:59:21 with an average pace of 5:36/km. To have that information doesn't help the situation at all. lol.

22. I remember looking at the buses parked at the side of the road at 21km ready to pick up those who didn't meet the COT. For me COT was 4 hrs, but for some, it's the real race COT and that kind of perspective was needed to appreciate and also be grateful with what I've accomplished. Races are like life. Along the way, things don't go according to plan and sometime you get really close to what you want only to fall short. Response is the difference between those who eventually get what they're after and those who don't.

23. From the glass half empty perspective, this particular failure puts me in my place. Comparing my result to 1st Malaysian isn't realisitc/relevant. Maybe for now, it's suffice to say I need to shave 9-10 minutes off my next marathon. As I struggle up those hills, all my weaknesses were revealed. I wasn't totally ready for that kind of effort yet. It says a lot about my training and racing.

24. As I'm writing this, I kind of got over the result and excited to try again harder and better not just for my next sub 4 attempt but racing in general.

Final Note

25. The race was good. No complaint what so ever. I'm going to do it again next year. Attempting to break 4 in SCKLM will continue. I'll maybe do other marathons but to me I have to sub 4 SCKLM. haha. Having my family through out the 2 days, especially at the finish was great. Good to see other runners and for me to personally run the marathon again (the 2016 Ironman marathon doesn't count lol).

26. I now have a benchmark to improve upon. I learned a lot and eventhough I fell short, the positive and negative feedback is invaluable as I moved on to my next goal which is to finish a 100k ultra marathon.

27. And that is basically it for the first half of 2017. Going to objectively assess the training and races done in 1H2017 and hopefully do better next time. Rest and trail season next. Woo hoo.

Last race for the 1st half of 2017. Time to heal the body and also soul in the upcoming ramadhan. Happy to finish the race with the family there. Congrats all finisher who grind it out and to those who clocked their best. #scklm2017

A post shared by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on May 21, 2017 at 7:03am PDT

SCKLM 2017 Preview

Feeling Notes

1. Few days after King of Kg. Kemensah 2017, I went for a massage to facilitate recovery. I couldn't wait to start running again after KOKK2017. I however listened to my body and took it easy. But for days, my body had other ideas and seems to be on strike. I just don't feel like running or doing anything physical for that matter. Which is quite worrying since SCKLM is in a matter of days. I'm afraid I've peaked too soon. I still have some workout to complete so can't exactly all out rest yet eventhough it's taper week.

2. The goal for SCKLM is to break 4 (jinxed it). So some pressure there because I have to run at a reasonable pace most of the time. I have to run around 5:35'ish/km to break 4 and it's gonna be tough. But I trained for months (kind of) and hopefully I can break 4 or at least finish close to it.

3. The training has been a mix of marathon training and also training for TMBT which is another "A" race I'm looking forward to. There's nothing much left to do except trust the training and let everything unfold.

Preview

4. I like to go in with some kind of plan.  I can just follow the sub 4 pacers with the balloons and stuff but I rather use the pacers to confirm/validate my effort rather than use them as a guide. I might pass them if I feel I can go faster but at the same time I know I can pace them if I'm struggling. I might not follow the so called plan and probably wing it on race day but at least I have something in my mind to focus on and avoid daydreaming during the run.

5. It's easier to negative split shorter races but longer races is usually about trying not to slow down too much and mainly being consistent with pacing. I wanted to see which KM I should watch out for. That's basically the plan. It might seem a bit obsessive but I went and pulled 2016 SCKLM sub 4 and sub 3:30 marathoner data from Garmin Connect. I'm assuming I somewhat share their running ability and had prepare more or less similiarly (except the 3:30 - for benchmark purpose). My simple school children analysis showed some general trend:

a) All sub 4 hrs runner tend to start out a few km too fast. But stayed on pace until KM 20-23;
b) All positive splitted and cross the sub 4 pace (5:35/km) vs average pace at around KM 22-23;
c) Struggle starts generally at KM 30-32;
d) Last 10k seems quite tough; and
e) They end the last 2-3km faster than their average.

6. I've read about this before (the 32km wall etc.) and I also have experienced it. Among others, elevation and time of day might be one of the contributing factor:

a) KM0~KM5: Starting out fast is normal because you've tapered and feel good. It is 4AM so it's cool as well;
b) KM22-23: Starts to slow down. The first big hill. It is also around the 2 hour mark where glycogen depletion starts to creep in. Might be around 6AM;
c) KM24~KM30: Still maintaining speed but using more energy to do so. Humidity picks up as sun starts to rise. Might be around 6AM-7AM;
d) KM30~KM32: Struggling. Probably hit the wall. A hill here just to make sure. Sunrise 7AM - 7:30AM;
e) KM32~KM40: Grind. The highest hill in the entire course followed by the 2nd highest hill in the entire course. Near 8AM; and
f) KM42: All out. Trying to get that sub 4 and going downhill maybe. 8AM (Sub 4).

7. Of course, this is all me in my own bubble making a simple analysis/assumption from a handful of runner's data. Not exactly PhD material, I know, but still provided some insight as to how I should run this marathon. The plan might go like this:

a) Warm up. No choice if I want to start near average goal pace and not too slow;
b) Forget negative split. Focus on negative effort. I'll be needing it in the last 10-15kms;
c) Stop for subuh at 15km and load up on nutrition while at it;
d) KM 24-30 is silently dangerous, slight rolling downhill/flat, so might actually carry some rhythm here and thus might be leaking energy unknowingly at this stretch. Not to get carried away going faster than goal pace. Patience;
e) Grind the last quarter of the race but steady on the hills. Might have to run my ass off to get 4;
f) Stop at all water station, 1 gel before race, gel every 1 hr, salt every 1 hr or consume based on feel. Use on course isotonic and water;and
g) Try to gain some time on the downhill.

8. Looking at the strategy and calculated splits for an avg 5:35/km pace marathon, it's gonna be tough because I never tried holding that pace for the entire marathon distance before.

KM Minimum Splits
5 0:27:55
10 0:55:50
15 1:23:45
20 1:51:40
21.1 1:57:48
25 2:19:35
30 2:47:30
35 3:15:25
40 3:43:20
42.2 3:55:37

9. I might have actually scripted my downfall with this "analysis". Haha. But, maybe it'll turn out to be a great plan and me going further below than just 4. Or I might end up doing something totally different and bonk. That's the beauty of training for a goal and not to just finish. But I'm looking forward to the feedback from race day. The risks and decisions made, the uncertainties and lessons learned.

10. Just like the Nike Breaking 2 attempt where all the marginal gains made the difference on the day, I need a lot of things going for me to break 4. What's for sure is that the course is designed to have plenty of hills in the 2nd half of the marathon. This is actually a hilly marathon. So yeah, I need a lot of luck with that.

King of Kampung Kemensah (KOKK) 2017 Race Notes

King of Kampung Kemensah 2017. Glad to have completed my 2nd ultra. Came in 3rd. Got nothing on the top 2 guys. So fast.  The route was tough but sure learned a lot. Always a lot of fun in the dense Kemensah forest running with others. Congrats to all participants and thnks organizer, volunteers and photographers for the efforts put in. Now some rest to prepare for SCKLM.  50km, 6:46:36 ⌚, 1492m 📈 #kokk2017 📷 duta foto (fb)

A post shared by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on May 8, 2017 at 8:59am PDT

Pre-Race 

1. Looking back, registering for this race seems reckless if I am really serious about SCKLM. Hope not. Registered for this race because it was so much fun the last time around and maybe also due to the fact I got 2nd place in the 18k category last year. Maybe a bit of both. Went for the 50km race distance this year as a tune up for TMBT and a long run for SCKLM (might prove costly).

2. 50km was hard the last time and I don't think it's ever gonna get any easier. So, few days before the race, slept early and rested a lot. I tried to anyway. Kind of glad I don't have to travel all the way to race venue to pick up the kit. Since the collection was done at Midvalley, took the chance to look/survey trail shoes on sale to replace my current one which was already kind of dodgy with its lugs almost completely gone. The sole was ripped but I got them stitched up. Still wore them race day.

Race Day

3. As far as strategy goes, I had to either take it easy all the way (easy .. haha) or try my luck near the end of the race if I had anything left. But the main thing I wanted to test out was nutrition and pacing. At GNU2017 I bonked and never recovered. I think it was mainly due to nutrition and erratic pacing. Since I have all that space in my Skinpro 10, I took 6 packet of hammer gels, about >15 salt pills, 2 snickers, two cans of red bull and plain water with me. I thought it was a bit overkill but boy, am I glad I brought em.

4. The first 10 km was fairly ok. I hold back as much as I could, but going downhill I ran a bit. I also ran a bit going uphill. The trail was muddy and slippery and I fell few times. The river crossing was refreshing and also serve to clean whatever mud was sticking to me. Got to the aid stations and there was water, 100 plus, bread and some dates. But no watermelons. I thought it might be at the next aid station. But little did I know at that time, I would only see watermelons at the finish.

5. At about halfway, which coincidently where the steepest hill was, it dawned on me that there were only dates and bread at all of these aid stations. I thought after the brutal climb, we were going to be rewarded with watermelons, oranges etc. But there were only dates, bread and 100 plus. There was one aid station with oranges though. I planned to feast myself with fruits at halfway since I have had it with dates. I wanted to also use the opportunity to ease the cramps which had slowly built up. I was feeling a bit frustrated, so I just top up my water supply, rehydrate and chatted with the volunteers a bit. After getting everything sorted, I turned for the last 20+km to get to the finish. I was 3rd at the time so I guess it was worth to "race" the last third of the race.

6. Then, came the plot twist, the aid station from then on were basically left with only water. And everything just became terribly hard from that point on. I was trading places with the 4th place guy. We chatted a bit during the climbs. I was half running/limping and was calculating my next gel/salt consumption. I was trying to avoid running on deficit. I conciously slowed down to take in food and manage the cramps. The last 10km, I only stopped briefly for water and some perskindol and manage to open a gap.

7. I tried all the tricks in the books to keep going that final kms. I told myself that if I don't run this section, the guys behind me will and eventually catch up. I also convinced myself that it's just like those hills I ran in training, except that it's not even close. I didn't bonked. Just the cramps.

8. I manage to reserve a packet of gel whereas the salt pills was finished. I was out of the woods and was 3rd. So I kind of feel like it was a done deal and if someone were to overtake me at that point, I was ok with it. I already gave it all I could. I was jogging/walking at the tarmac section and when I looked back, the 4th place guy was there. Looking solid. I guess he must've ran pretty hard and I was genuinely thinking I'm gonna get passed. I took that last gel and fortunately everything switched on. I lengthen my stride and ran for like 500m. Looked back occasionally just to make sure. I guess I was not completely ok with someone overtaking me, especially for a podium finish. Haha. Near the finish I slowed down once I realized I finally got it. The pack of 1st and 2nd place finisher was at the front all day.

Post-Race

9. Finally, watermelons. Chatted with other runners and continue chatting with the 4th place finisher Mr. Balrama. He pushed me till the end at the 18km race race last year and also this year. Went on stage to accept the awards, pictures etc. and went back home. The kids loved the hamper and I got a voucher for merrel shoes. So it was a good day for all. Well maybe not all. My wife got the laundry to contend with.

Race Notes

10. After messing up at HLTR17, arriving late etc. I had a good look at how I can be more efficient going to races. So, the section below is kind of like a simple thought process of doing a race. Can be used as a mental checksheet when registering for a race. Also good for budgeting overseas races in the future.

11. Race day kind of went like this:

4:00 AM: Wake Up, Eat & Shower
5:00 AM: Travel to venue / Subuh
6:15 AM: Sort out drop bag & warm up
6:30 AM: Race
1:30 PM: Finish Race
2:00 PM: Shower/Zohor/Post race socializing
3:30 PM: Race Awards
3:50 PM: Move to home
5:00 PM: Home

12. The race cost me:

Registration: RM180.50
Accomodation: NA
Travel to venue: 1h15min hours (Kampung Kemensah, 52 km x 2)
Travel to race kit collection: 40 mins (Midvalley Megamall, 38.2 km x 2)
Traveling cost: Conservative estimate at RM0.40/km : 180.4 km X RM0.4/km = RM72.16 ~ RM80 (plus toll)
Travel distance from parking to start line: 250m
Waiting for toilet: NA
Sorting out drop bag: No issue

13. Race Detail:

Placing (Time diff. to leader): 3/94 (+00:21:09)
Time: 6:46:36
Pace: 8:07/km
Distance: 50km
Elevation: 1492m

Race Comments

14. In total, it cost me about RM260 and a whole day to complete this race. But, for the price to race 7 hour in a beautiful dense forest, it was totally worth it.You also get 2 t shirts (awesome design) and a medal. I think a lot of emphasis is given to race goodies nowadays but I personally think services provided by race organizers are often overlooked. The volunteers who were bitten by mosquitos, having to sleep in the woods and wait for people were exceptional. Can't fault them with anything.

15. The organizers were great. Loved that it's a simple set up and have this kind of laid back feel to it. I think post race was chilled and our voices were not drowned by the music. In some races, the PA system with the music etc. can get a bit annoying. Took a bath in the toilet too.

16. Had pacat bites like 2 on my abs area and 2 on ankle. It comes with the race package, so can't complain there. Got small bit of stones in shoes. Need gaiters for sure.

17. I don't want to sound like a diva but I think the aid stations could be better stocked. I know it is hard to get stuff onto the course but the pre-race info suggested (to me at least) the aid station would be stocked with the usual. Luckily I brought some on my own. I was giving water to a runner who was worried he might not make the cut off and was running low on water. That got me thinking about other runners with still some way to go.

18. Coming from shorter trail/road racing and triathlons, it does feel a bit like an anomoly. I have however, only done 2 ultra races. So I can't exactly say in terms of aid stations, whether this was either the rule or the exception.

Final Note

19. Beautiful race but make no mistake, the course was hard. Again, cramps threaten to derail the race but kind of got it under control. I think I was also a bit lucky not to be overtaken near the end. Got 3rd place and along with it Merrel shoe voucher which I think I'm going to cash in. But to put things in perspective, a 20min+ gap with the leader plus a close finish meant there's a long way to go for me to properly execute a good 50km/1500m+gain race. The organizer probably could do better with the whole aid station but maybe I'm asking too much considering the logistics. Overall, I can't ask for more in terms of efforts put in. So all in all, it was great and will do it again.

20. Now for the 1H2017 finale! SCKLM 2017!!

Hulu Langat Trail Run 2017 Race Notes

Thumbs up if you're hurting but having fun. At Hulu Langat Trail Run 2017 recently. Pic: @actionpixmalaysia (tq) #trailrunning #running #hltr2017 #dirtoverasphalt

A post shared by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on Apr 3, 2017 at 9:22pm PDT

1) Kind of looking forward to this race to gauge current fitness level and see how I fare with other runners. Woke up race day and it was raining. Was a bit chilled with how I did things that morning. Did the usual, breakfast and stuff. While on my way out, the kids woke up and resumed sleeping in my room. So everybody was all nice and cozy tucked inside a warm blanket. For a while, I felt to do the same.

2) I was suppose to go out at 6 am knowing the race would start at 7:30 am which means I have an hour and a half to get to the venue. So I was quite relaxed and liked how that feel the last time I raced. But I finally got out at around 6:30. Waze showed I'd arrive at 7:15 which was ok. Then a few minutes later it revised its projection to 7:30 and about 10km to race venue it said 7:50. The traffic was pretty bad so I decided to park 1.5km away as a warm up and continue onto the course.

3) The goal was to race and I was pretty much ready to do so. But first, had to pee. So I got that done near some bushes (one of the advantages of trail running). I was carrying a bottle of gatorade, a gel and 3 salt pills for nutrition. So I went in and ran it like a race. But there wasn't any motivation to keep the intensity high. I just ran as hard as I could and was constantly stopped by bottlenecks formed around steep technical sections. Data showed I completely stopped for around 5 minutes at one section. On other sections I had to slow down but I probably needed a breather anyway.

4) When I finally finished, I got some water and went running another 1.5km to the car. Didn't wait around since I don't want to get stiff. Cheered some runners still on the course and even gave out my gatorade. Went home and everything started to hurt and sore. As expected.

5) As for the race, it was raining so it was a bit cool and helped with the run a bit. I didn't use any gel or salt, just on course nutrition (fruit & 100 plus) and my gatorade. Course was runnable and on some hills I didn't stop. So that was good. As for the course, it was muddy, so I was a bit slow/careful but on tarmac section I tried to make up the time. All in all, it was a good race and I think I ran quite ok.

6) I also learned the importance of getting logistical matters right and I'm glad I've booked a hotel for SCKLM to prevent stuff like this from happening again. Official result showed I'm about a good 20-30mins off the top 10 placings.

7) KOKK next and it's happening 2 weeks before SCKLM so probably gonna have to be wise about how I'd run that one to not compromise SCKLM.

Gunung Nuang Ultra 2017 Race Notes

Gunung Nuang Ultra 5 x 10k with about 2400+ m elevation gain. At 40k blew my quads. I guess it was too much too soon. Just glad to finish my 1st 50km. Lots of things learned and was amazed by those going further than the minimum 50k. The event was great and thanks to all volunteers especially those who motivates when everything went down hill (literally). Now off to bangkok for work (going to be quite difficult with stiff legs haha). #gnu2017 #running #newbie #ultrarunning

A post shared by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on Feb 26, 2017 at 5:00pm PST

1) I was somewhat prepared for the race doing some climbs and had consistently ran. The furthest run was half marathon distance on roads and trails. So I know I could some how get to 20 - 30k, hike the rest of the way and still finish it. Nutrition wise, I have had experiences during long runs and most of the time I don't bonk or hit the wall that bad. By my standard, "bad" means vomitting, pulsating/painful cramps or anything that forces me to stop for a long time. My real concern actually was more on those pesky cramps. Those were usually the limiting factors in races and on long training days. But still, cramps aside, I never went more than 20+km so I knew It's gonna be tough after 30km but the primary goal was to just finish, enjoy the day/trail and learn as much as I can. It is afterall my 1st ultra so I don't have anything to aim for. If I finish, it's definitely gonna be a PB.

2) Race morning and I woke up at 4 and did a 1 km shakeout run, breakfast, poop and went to Nuang. The best thing about a run race is that there's not much gear to prepare unlike a triathlon with all the bikes and stuff. Found a parking spot and went rushing to the toilet to relieve myself only to find that there was a long que forming. So I decided to put my nutrition at the aid station first. It was dark, I needed to piss badly and the race was starting in 5 minutes. I didn't give much thought about the start. I know it was gonna be a long day and the trail was gonna be packed with people. I didn't plan to run going up so it was a really relaxed start to the race. In fact, the race started while I was taking a piss. I wasn't nervous at all and looking back, it was a pretty great start to a race since some time.

3) So as planned, I hiked up until it was runnable. About 1/3 of the 5km going up was runnable. Then on the descent, ran a bit but on steep descents I slowed down to save the quads. At the 10km or start/finish line aid station, I was looking for gels when I realized my car key was not in the race bag I was carrying. I thought maybe it was in the nutrition bags. I kind of had a bad feeling about the whole thing. I tried to ignore it, so I got some food and went for the 2nd loop. Applied the same strategy for the 2nd loop. After 2 loops (20km) I went searching for the keys. I've probably spent about 10 minutes looking for my car keys while at the same time, taking care of nutrition. Still couldn't find them and thought it might be stuck some where in the bag. It has happened before. On the 3rd loop, I took out my poles and ran/hike with them so I was concentrating on the poles and less on the missing keys. It was my first time using poles. I did use a makeshift poles from a couple of sticks at G. Angsi once and found them to be quite helpful in maintaing good form during climbs.

As always I never know, how things tend to end as so,  Always in the waiting line, never the winning kind. (Never know, Kyoto Protocol) Flashback friday to #gnu2017. One of the moments where I'm actually running lol. #fbf #vert #trailrunning 📷 Rany Tan FB (tq)

A post shared by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on Mar 9, 2017 at 11:34pm PST

4) By the end of the 4th loop, I properly took out all of the content in search of my car keys and by then I knew I was fucked. I have lost my keys. I was like "what the fuck am I going to do now"? I had 10km to go. I can quit and go look for my keys or finish the damn thing and look for it afterwards. I decided to finish the race and was going to deal with it afterwards. So, I didn't get much nutrition because I was getting lazy and was worried sick about my keys. Spent the whole time going up thinking about where I placed them and how I was going to explain all of the mess to my wife.

5) On the final loop, after hiking up a bit and upon reaching the runnable section, my quads started to cramp. Then it became worse and I had to stop and stretch it out. I knew I'm at borderline here. Tried running and it just won't go away. So I walked the rest of the way (which was probably about 6km +) and finished the race. The first thing I did was went looking for my keys at the aid station and then at the surau. Then I walked to the car worried that it might get stolen (paranoid much?). Finally went back to the organizer and asked them if anyone found a car key. The organizer said "was it a honda?" I was like "yeah" and was so relieved and thank the guy who found them. Turned out, I accidently left them at the aid station. I must have accidently put my keys along with all my nutrition. It was dark and I was rushing to the toilet. Talk about lesson learned.

This sums it up. Quads screaming but most of us still manage to squeeze out a smile. Strangers giving encouragement and local organizers with great support and hospitality. The plan was to pace evenly going slow in the first half and finish the 2nd half strong. But that didn't happen. Was walking at a humbling pace in the 2nd half. In the words of Kurt Cobain "its better to burn out than to fade away" but I kinda managed both.  Time: 7:35:15 Distance: 50km Pic by Jack Ah Beh (tq) #gunungnuangultra2017 #gnu2017

A post shared by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on Feb 28, 2017 at 9:30pm PST

6) As for the race, I'm sure there are more interesting reports about the race out there, so I'm not gonna go into details. Just that, at 40km ,I lost my focus and didn't eat well. I had several chances to rectify my nutrtion during the 5th loop since I had some food with me. But I was lazy to do so and it was too late by the time I finally did manage to get some nutrition in. Mentally, I went on with the narrative I had in my head even before the race started which was to walk if I had to after 30km, so it was kind of like a self fulfilling prophecy in a way.

7) All in all it was nice event. Food was good, simple and I like the fact that I felt relaxed going into it. I manage to complete it in 7h 35 min. Don't know if that was good or bad. It doesn't matter. I finished it. My 1st ultra. In retrospect, I could've probably do better at 40k but the car key incident just totally threw me off. I then got really lazy/super tired and didn't execute my nutrition well and in a race lasting more than 2 hours, the smallest mistakes can have enormous consequences. It's like the most frequent advice you'd read on ultras articles and I've experienced it 1st hand. At least I didn't compound that by actually losing my car key.

8) To be fair, I arrived at the start line not totally fresh. Only taper for a day after running about 70+km that week. So I wasn't in an ideal condition to race but knowing I can consistently run day in and out, and having no major issue after such a long run is comforting.

9) Went back, sore and stiff. Got some food and rested. Wake up the next day to catch a flight to Bangkok. Upon arriving, rested for a day and did some easy run on Tuesday to let the legs know who's boss. They only obey by Thursday.

Chanelling my inner tourists and went shopping at MBK. I was bargaining just for the sake of it. Partly wanted to make my wife proud and simultaneously avoid ridicule when I go back to tell her about it.  #negotiations

A post shared by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on Mar 1, 2017 at 5:59am PST

10) Did trans nuang to signal an end to the base phase as I shift my focus to running on roads mid March, April and May. Going to cap running at +-60k per week and compliment easy run days with quality workouts for the Sub 4 attempt in May. But before the attempt, I sneaked in some trail race: Hulu Langat Trail Run 18k and King of Kg. Kemensah 50k.

More on that later.

Logs and plans

Yamtuan Antah. Cool route.

A photo posted by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on Dec 31, 2016 at 9:46pm PST

So logging starts. Monthly updates, hopefully. Likewise in Ironman training, I scheduled some races leading up to SCKLM 17. Considering I plan to do an ultra race (have to get some LSD anyways), I decided put in some challenging trail days to get some elevation in and to get the body ready. I guess for 2017, that epic race is TMBT 100k.

Races:

1H2017

1) Nuang Ultra
2) Hulu Langat Trail Run
3) King Of Kampung Kemensah
4) SCKLM

2H2017

5)Cultra
6)TMMT
7)TMBT

And I've planned some trail run/hike to get some elevation with the elevation increased progressively.

1) G. Datuk
2) G. Angsi via Ulu Bendul
3) G. Datuk + G. Gagak + G. Rembau
4) G. Nuang
5) G. Berembun + G. Telapak Buruk
6) G. Angsi via Ulu Bendul + B. Putus
7) Trans Nuang

So far, I'm only left with trans nuang. I'm waiting for my Salomon Skin Pro 10 to arrive and also get some additional gears before attempting it. These trails are about (or less) than an hour from home (or my parent's) so the convenient factor + the nice elevation was the main reason all these courses were chosen. So far I think the best would be G. Berembun since it has everything and runnable. Would love to do Broga but there are probably too many people on weekends, but we'll see.

The 1st half of 2017 training is mainly to set a PB at SCKLM. At the same time, the 1st half base phase is also a time to explore new trails to train for the 2nd half of the year. Volume will peak mid march with a total mileage of around 80km. I don'k know if it's possible, but that's what I'm aiming for. Focus on endurance and speed for the last 2 months before SCKLM.

A months break for Ramadhan and training continue in the mountains again. This time probably more specific/threshold stuff.

The 2nd half training is mainly focused on finishing TMBT. So it's gonna be a lot of long runs and climbs.    

1H2017 Stats:
Start/Ends: 27 November 2016/21 May 2017
Planned Number of Training Weeks:
26
Goal Average Distance Per Week: 60km+-
Goal Average Elevation Per Week: min 1,000m+-

Roadmap

16 just held such better days,  days when I feel so alive, couldn't wait to get outside (Adam's song, Blink 182) Happy 2017! #trailrunning #dirtoverasphalt #chasingvert

A photo posted by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on Dec 31, 2016 at 9:42pm PST

Judging by the Ironman training, I've made an error in judgement by skipping base training. Base is the most difficult and most important phase. During base you have to go slow and its counter intuitive to go slow since naturally you want to go fast. Patience and faith is needed in base training. Most of my reading lead me to believe the base portion is the main phase of a training plan and hopefully I can perform them right. I also think the base phase is the right time to train to gauge speed and effort without garmin. I can also listen to music and explore new routes since I'm not tied up to any specific workout. It's simply just ... run.

Plan is to periodize to peak for SCKLM (planning for a sub 4 or a PB) in May and complete some ultras and one last big race nearing end of 2017. Most ultras especially those sought after races occur after syawal so it's also something I have to look into. Went for a standard 4 week macro cycle. 1 peak, 2 level and a recovery week. Will take it easy in June during Ramadhan and sort of re-start again after.

Decided to focus on a base of maybe around 3 months of easy runs, some elevation and strength training. I try not to be too fancy about it. If I can stay consistent running with an average of +-60km per week with +-1000 m of elevation, I'm set. Increase by 10% per week every 3rd week. Won't care about speed. Also rest/recovery every 4th week and if needed. Try not to push things too much. Also a marker workout to track fitness progress every recovery week.

Basically, at a micro level, a week in base is a combo of long run (trail/road), a medium run and the rest just easy runs. Week starts on Sunday and ends on Saturdays. This is so I can get the long run out of the way early and just fill the rest of the week with a recovery, strength, speed and threshold workout when those phases arrives. I learned that I usually had to skip my long runs due to a missed weekend. This way, I can re arrange my long runs to the next weekend and the mileage will still be considered in the same training week. Have to see how that'll turn out and adjust.

Then of course I have to balance mileage and speed/threshold workouts as SCKLM gets closer. A good taper and finally race.

I came to realize that its not that complicated, but it can be. The ironman training certainly provided some indication of what personally works and doesn't. This time I just want to be a bit flexible but have a plan to guide so that I have something to aim for every week.

Few rules:

1) Staying consistent by excecuting safe run combos. No hard day followed by another hard day. Hard means long or tough sessions.
2) Recovery: 1 day per week (no running/cross training), 1 week per month (go easy and reduce mileage to 70% from previous)
3) Be Specific: Go long, go vert, go on trails, go long on vert trails.
4) Stop/cross train when injured
5) Minimum 1 strength /core session
6) Do drills and strides on easy days
7) Split long days if needed

I'm also not going to update progress every week like I did during Ironman 2016. Maybe a monthly summary would suffice. We'll see.

Here we go.

2017 run

Trail and tarmac (borrow caption from @davidlaney12) #dirtoverasphalt #trailrunning #chasingvert

A photo posted by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on Dec 17, 2016 at 8:37pm PST

This year is gonna be all about running. Few issues I have with running are that, the longer I go, the more it hurts. The faster I go, the more it hurts. Combine the two, running can be quite painful. Since I signed up for a 50k trail run/ultra race, I sort of have to run far and somewhat fast. So, these issues require attention or I'll be in trouble even before the race starts in February. I also signed up for a marathon and executing them well is also one of 2017 goal. So a proper training plan is required.

Since I'll be running trail, I need to run on trail. Finding one is a challenge by itself. There's plenty, but in terms of logistics it's quite inconvenient to get to. I love the fact that I can just go out the door and run straight away. But for trail running, it seems like I have no choice but to drive to get to a trail. Especially trails with a pretty decent elevation. So places/courses to train that don't take much time to get too is required as well.

Trail running usually involves few hikes/walks due to the sheer amount of ascent one have to do. So pace would be significantly slow and more often than not, I'll probably be spending a lot of time on the trail. There are no shops selling 100 plus or snickers bars which means I have to carry my own nutrition and water. The weather could also turn and I might end up running in the rain, muddy with leeches etc. Getting lost/injured is a real possibility too.

So good gears, nutrition and carrying important items are essential.

More on these later.

2017

In 2016 I committed to record and write about stuff especially tracking progress. Its cool to look back at those moments in writing. So I'm gonna continue. If it's important then it's worthwhile to record them.

It's now 2017 and sporting wise, 2016 was relatively a great year. I won't go into details cause it's something that'll take ages to write about.

The highlights for 1st half of 2016 would be PBing my Half Ironman and Powerman. Started the year by having a strcutured training regiment but didn't strictly follow the program or monitor my progress much. I guess I was on the steep section of the learning curve where significant improvements were gained by not doing a lot. Got 2nd place in a trail run at Kemensah and almost a sub 2 at Nilai Marathon. Ran and enjoyed more trails.

In the 2nd half of 2016, committed to a training plan. Didn't follow 100% but felt the need to objectively assess how much work was done. So I closely track the metrics and developed a simple monitoring system with MS excel. I also felt it was important to log how I feel or feelings I had when training or whatever observation I had at that time. Race wise, learned a lot blowing up in races and a sub 2 half marathon followed by a 7th place finish in the Mantin Hill 2 Hill run capped of a great "racing season" for the 2nd half of 2016.

Then, the big and final race of 2016, Ironman Langkawi. The race that anchors everything. In the space of 2 weeks leading to Ironman Langkawi, my grandfather passed away and my wife gave birth to a baby girl days later. My head wasn't in its right place and training didn't go as planned but I accepted all of these circumstances. I finished the race and I think the effort that was put in matched the result. The race itself wasn't the highlight and I forgotten much about the details of the race. But the training, the preparation for the Ironman was probably the best thing that has ever happened because I learned a lot. Training for Ironman revealed a lot. The main thing I learned was about scheduling and being extra careful with time. With 3 sport to train for, time is of the essence.

There were also highlights personally and professionally, things outside sports such as the trip with buddies/family to Tasik Kenyir, vacations etc that was pretty awesome as well. But those memories are reserved/saved just for me.

Right. Now that 2016 is all done and dusted, it's time to line up a new project for 2017. It has to be epic by my standard. It has to be long, impossible (almost) to do without training and most of all fun. I also have to consider the financial damage it will cost me.

Trail running in the contrasting city of #putrajaya. Amidst all the development lies a nice gravel trail which goes around lakes and beautiful natural landscapes. Music, run and exploring new routes. Good fun.  #dirtoverasphalt #trailrunning

A photo posted by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on Dec 8, 2016 at 6:11pm PST

Looking back at 2016, I was always curious when running on trails especially those really long ones. Trail running was a sort of escapism from the Ironman routine and I always wonder why haven't I done it sooner. It seems that there's a whole segment of endurance junkies who ran more than the typical marathon distance. I thought running 42km was crazy. Try 100 - 200km. That's nuts. But I was curious. There was an element of uncertainty, a challenge to overcome and an epic race to sort of hold everything together in a structured way. Trail running puts two things I love together, being outdoors and running. It was not harder or easier than a road race but it's unique. The longer trail races or ultramarathons demand similar things as any endurance event i.e solid preparation, the right gear, nutrition and race day strategies.

The difference would be that, elevation is something that's factored in trail races or ultramarathon. In an Ironman, a hill is a specific point on a course where participants have to go through at some point in the race. In trail racing or ultras, it is the course. The hill/mountains and the whole natural topography is the race course. Which makes for a far more scenic run. It's quite lonely sometimes too. Quiet, peaceful. You can walk without feeling guilty or wimpy because the terrain won't let you run no matter how strong you are.

The top 10 finish in 2016's trail races also sort of strengthen that feeling of wanting to go out and run/race in the wild and to train to become a better trail runner. So immediately after Ironman I signed up for my first ultra in February 2017. A 50km/ 12 hour run at Gunung Nuang. Its a 5 X 10km loop and is perfect if I ever decided to drop out or anything LOL. Have started pre-training, recon some courses to train at and developed a plan that'll guide me towards that epic ultra race near the end of 2017, whatever race that'll turn out to be. As far as triathlon is concerned, it'll supplement my run training and I'll treat it as cross training. Currently not looking forward/planning to do any tris in 2017. I won't say I'm done with multisport as I started with triathlons and always enjoyed doing them. But, it's financially consuming and takes a lot of time. Those factors had huge bearing on my decision to pause triathlon/multisport.

2017 means challenging not only how far or fast I can go, but also how high (elevation) I can go. I've started obsessing about it and I guess it'll be the theme for 2017. It's not as complicated as the Ironman but the challenge could be similar or even greater.

It looks to be exciting if everything goes to plan. Also have some other non sport personal goal to address but that's another story.

Project IMMY 2016 Review

I celebrated as soon as I realized I got this. My motivation to keep running was to go for a sub 5 marathon. I did that and it was my marathon PB. I left everything out there and finished knowing I pushed as hard as I could. The downside was that I almost collapsed near the end. So 7 years of dreaming to cross the IM finish line only to have a picture of me almost falling down at the finishing arc. LOL.

A photo posted by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on Nov 17, 2016 at 1:35am PST

It's all done and now it's time to look back and review what was done. Apart from training, blogging/recording about the whole thing was part of the project. Previously, I only log training miles and training observations. It's a simple excel file and I didn't bother to publish it on the web. But I always wanted to know whether my thoughts changed/would change while undergoing this whole project and the blog was a good platform for that. Therefore, I decided to commit writing on training progress and see how that developed. I can't believe I've reached the end. I'm my own critic so what was written mostly came straight from my head and influenced a bit by other literature.

For the recording/writing part of the project, I usually start with metric logging, track progress, observations and finally my thoughts on training and how I felt. Here goes.

1) All data were recorded using the 920XT. Lost workout data are estimated conservatively due to Garmin error (mostly sync error) or human error (basically me screwing up my garmin - not pushing button etc..).

Training Days: 127 days (roughly 5 months/17 weeks)

Overall Completion Rate: 85.2%

Total Distance Covered: 2608.4km

*swim/bike/run/brick only

Swim Distance: 86 km

Bike Distance: 2039.4 km

Run Distance: 483 km

Total Training Duration:235h 55m

*swim/bike/spin bike/run/brick/supplementary training

Swim Duration:38h 04m

Bike Duration:121h 10m

Run Duration:53h 13m

Supplementary training duration:23h 26m

*Core/Stability/Stairs/Stretch

Total Elevation Gained:19842m

2) Swim 

Swim KPI:136.312 km

Swim Actual:86km (63.1%)

Swim progress was measured using distance.

The first half of training was ok since volume was manageable with the 1 hour I have during lunch. There's no way I could swim close to 6km in a single session so I had to break it apart. I didn't swim on weekends or any other time to make up the volume though. Apart from that, I wasn't swimming consistently enough nearing race day. I was done with swim training as soon as I felt I did enough to finish the swim. I do get in the pool but didn't perform any specific workouts. In hindsight, maybe I could do more but limitations meant this was probably as good as it gets.

On race day, I didn't push it during the swim. More like I "couldn't", especially without elevating my heart rate. The comfortable effort on race day coupled with the inconsistent swim training fairly reflected my swim time and pace. Sighted a lot and also got some rough treatment from other swimmers through out. Fitness wise, the training helped to finish the 3.8km swim. But due to time constraint, technique was compromised. So all in all, fair.

Swim Time: 1:30:03

Swim Pace: 2:19/100m

3) Bike 

Bike KPI:125h37m

Bike Actual:12h10m (96.5%)

Bike progress were measured using time.

The completion rate is a bit misleading as in the early part of training I conciously deviate from was prescribed in the training plan. I knew some of the routes I chose would be long and hard compared to what I was suppose to do. So the long rides was really slow and long. That sort of made up most of the (junk) overall times. So in short, bike volume/time didn't slowly progressed. It was haphazard, fluctatuating and to be honest, I just wanted to sort of achieve the overall KPI. I sometime went double than what was scheduled and few weeks after went below the target.

A steady progression would've probably serve me better on race day. I struggled after 130km and on the hills because I probably didn't have enough base. So I was slower than expected. I expected like at least a 27 km/h average ride. But my expectation was based on a 150km single bike ride so, a bit naive there. For the bike, I really feel I didn't train enough or wisely enough eventhough training was close to 100%. The spikes in training meant I didn't get the full benefit from training. Could've done better.

Bike Time:6:53:43

Bike Pace:26.14km/h

4) Run 

Run KPI:57h15m

Run Actual:53h13m (93%)

Run progress were measured using time.

Out of the 3 discipline, run training increased progressively. The only issue was maybe intensity. Some easy and tempo runs were too hard, a typical beginner problem. Didn't do much long run and when I did knees/tendons were hurting. That was the reason why it's more conservative to run according to the training plan. But when feeling good, I probably went too hard on some sessions.

Also felt like I peaked too early. During race day, no issue aerobically just that couldn't hold faster pace because of muscular fatigue. But running after a bike and run was never going to be easy, and I did PBed the marathon, so overall, quite pleased with the run.

Run Time:4:55:48

Run Pace: 7 min/km

5) Brick was done every week to build confidence and also cramp proof the quads. The brick also revealed realistic run paces which guided the effort on race day.

6) Suplementary training was the biggest change made in this training programme. Without it, all of the above probably wouldn't be achieved because of injury or simply getting tired too early. Strength/stair training helps form. Never went a week without strength training.

7) Races that I was really pleased was the MPKJ marathon. PBed my half marathon and ran pretty well. Progressed into a faster pace and manage to maintain a fairly quick pace till the end. That week I was at my peak (highest VO2max score) as told by Garmin. On race day my VO2max score dropped 3 points. The other race that had helped a lot was the Mantin Hill 2 Hill Challenge where the distance and elevation provided a much needed confidence to validate that the training somewhat works.

8) Nutrition during training was not good at all. This left a lot to be desired. Bad eating habits was probably the main factor to tiredness pre/post workouts. But fueling on race day was ok. No stomach issue.

9) Mistakes in training:

• Started at week 7. Skipped 6 weeks of base training and I really feel this was the major mistake made. Should've started at week 1 and forget about speed. 
• Too many spikes in training and not training in the right intensity zones. 
• Not working much on technique for the swim.
• Strength training was focused on the core and less on legs.

10) Improvements:

• Do base training with a steady progression and in the right intensity zones.
• Strength session in the early period of training.
• Focus on technique pre-swim base training.
• Focus on speed only when the body can handle the strain.

That's it for Ironman training. Eventhough I knew these typical beginner mistakes beforehand, I only realized how hard it was to overcome them in actual training. It feels like I've succumbed to these pitfalls because I was not patient enough to let things flow. I pushed it because of time constraints. The paces/times in races and training was a direct result of training. It's a great feeling to finally validate the notion I had about training. One thing for sure is that you can't force them. You HAVE to do the time.

Feeling Notes Project IMMY2016

Certainty

1) A big day is usually reserved for life altering events. A wedding for example, a birth of a child, your graduation, the time you were accepted for your first job etc. To me, the Ironman certainly deserved to be ranked up there. Some events are "expected" as we get older; for example, getting married, having kids, getting a job etc. These are the path in life that we automatically adhere to and they're important nonetheless. However, for the Ironman, it wasn't the cultural norm or something that people would do to conform to society. You don't fulfill society or your family expectations by doing an Ironman. It's a voluntary choice which for me, was made 7 years ago when I read those powerful words displayed on the Ironman website. "You will do this".

2) I had to skip IMMY 2010 because I didn't have time to train since I was away for a 6 months course. IMMY came back in 2014 but I was getting ready to leave for the UK. Missed 2015 because I just got back from the UK. So 2016 was it. My first Ironman. As luck has it, 2016 would be the final installment of Ironman Langkawi. It took me 7 years to finally cross that finish line and seems like it was my first and last (for Langkawi at least).

3) To be honest, the reason for me to attempt the Ironman was superficial. I wanted the title. I wanted to do something that was near difficult but doable and niche. Something that require effort and will show in the end. I wanted to belong with the selected few who'd done it. That was the appeal. I'm convinced that finishing the damn thing was hard and if I did it, I can rank myself above the average joes. I soon realize the Ironman/training was my way of compensating other under achievements in my life.

Illusion of certainty

4) You always hear stuff like if you exercise, you are literally lapping everyone else on the couch? But that doesn't seem to do it for me. It's a bit convenient to use that as an excuse to just show up and barely finish the Ironman. That wasn't what triathlon or the Ironman was suppose to be like. Not to me anyway. I wanted it to appear like how it was when I first learned about it 7 years ago. Brutal, and you HAVE to work hard to even finish it. Being a triathlete was not enough. My logic was all Ironman are triathletes but not all triathletes are Ironman. So once and for all, I just had to do the Ironman to validate that triathlete or triathlon are tough. That if I do the Ironman, which is the longest of all triathlon distance I've ever attempted,  will unlock triathlon and reveal to me the true nature of the sport. It will unlock what it means to be a triathlete. I want to experience the hurt not only in races but also training. It has to mean something more than just a race. I have to feel like I earned it.

5) I felt like I can finish the Ironman if I trained some, so I just had to put that feeling to test. I never DNFed my races no matter how hard things get. Partly because there wasn't any real issues for me to finish a race. And that was how i approached races. To simply finish. So, I think as time goes by, I sort of celebrated mediocrity. Between 2010 to 2014 I just kept finishing races without any specific objectives. I felt like as long as I finish a triathlon I was entitled to that triathlete status. I didn't properly train. I didn't care about training at different paces let alone care about nutrition. Core training? Waste of time. A training plan usually means completing the distance as fast as possible. Period. A painful lesson learned during my maiden marathon and some other longer races that followed.

6) This self entitlement was probably strengthen by the fact that I'm probably the only guy in the office who swim, bike and run. I'm the only one who is crazy enough to ... . People marvel at my ability to endure. As a self proclaimed triathlete I was by default already in that "special" bracket (at least in my head). Naturally, my performance reached plateau and I did not improve. I did not get injured but also didn't get any faster. I was stagnant. I wasn't doing the Ironman. And more and more people are doing it, finishing it, with less training than I thought people should have. It is quickly starting to lose its appeal. It's getting more commercialized/mainstream. Was Ironman becoming the new marathon? 

Uncertainty

7) In 2016, I still held on to the idea that you have to train or you simply can't complete it. So I started paying attention to training by 4th quarter of 2015. I took part in the weekly 5k park run while in the UK and I wanted to run a sub 20 min 5k thinking that it'll help the run leg of the Ironman. So I started to train specifically for that. My PB for a 5k was 21:43 and that was the best it got. My running didn't improve much and I feel like I could do better had I trained more. The real reason was probably had to do with my haphazard way of training. Once back in Malaysia, I again revisit the Ironman idea. Ironman was on top of my to do list for 2016 and I was already curious about structured training. Especially how the pros did it. I read about Macca, Crowie, Jan Frodeno, Lance Armstrong, Kurt Cobain, The Tarahumara (Born to Run), Killian Jornet, Scott Jurek etc. and I realized that these people, who were masters of their craft, didn't care about titles and winning. They do it because they love to push themselves and explore what they are capable of. They strive for improvement. There's something pure about their approach. They are passionate. They are so fixiated on the process and the end didn't matter as long as they've put every last effort in the process. Basically they train to be a better version of themselves and to continue to improve and explore their limits. They race of course, to win. But they don't always train to win. They train to improve and go beyond their limits.

8) So convinced by the pros and largely by the large amount of funds committed for Ironman Langkawi in 2016, I wanted to do it right. I wanted to not to only finish but at the same time explore my limits. I wanted to learn about the process, approach the damn thing with sort of a pro mindset. Determination, commitment, desire etc. An array of motivation quotes can be used to sum up how I feel during the early stages of my Ironman training. Training. That to me was how the Ironman is going to be earned. 

Reality

9) It was harder than I tought as chronicled in my training posts. I realized that it takes a lot to reach to a competetive level in Ironman. A LOT. What I did in 2016 leading up to IMMY 2016 seems like nothing compared to the pros or even competetive age groupers. The amount of training is just crazy. And near the end, I slacked off a bit. These people spent a lifetime getting better. They've done their time and they are reaping the rewards of being patient and disciplined. 

10) More often than not, I sort of use it to feed social media. Sometimes, I feel like I was milking it (conciously or unconciously) when I announce I do triathlons. I was definitely not puking by the tracks, or going on epic bike rides or swim 3-4 hours a day. It's far from those youtube videos where people talk about sacrifices and run towards the sunset shirtless etc (Jan Frodeno btw.). I was merely a finisher and I had fun doing it. I walked the runs. I barely made the swim. And to be honest, the bike was painful. I also imagined that I was going to be hurting so bad that I would barely made it. It wasn't like that. I finished and it was satisfying. Primarily because I trained for it. 

11)  Let's not get started on the cost and time spent to just finish this race, which in hindsight seems a bit absurd. To be fair though, even though triathlon is resource consuming and sometime suck the joy out of your life, most of the times I enjoyed training. I like the tranquility of long ride and runs. I like doing flip turns because its cool. I like the fact that I can swim freestyle. Training is just fun and probably the main reason why I continued doing it. Racing was fun too. I mean, that's the only thing that justifies all the training and investments made. So Ironman was probably an excuse. Maybe even without Ironman I would venture and do this things purely because I need a challenge, something to overcome.

12) So, a sense of realization about being a triathlete/Ironman was also a result of this Ironman project. Ironman didn't feel like THE Ironman I envisaged. It's just another sport that was fun, challenging and most importantly revealing. I thought training would elevate me as a triathlete but instead it showed who I was and who I wasn't.

The only certainty is uncertainty and that is the reality

13) That's why Ironman to me, is a life altering event. As far as sports is concerned, I can probably divide it into pre and post-Ironman where after Ironman, I felt like the trajectory of my life has changed. I realize that you can call yourself anything, a runner, a swimmer, a cyclist, a football player etc. But athlete? That term should be reserved for people who embodies discipline, long term commitment and awareness of their body and capabilities. Plus yearning to improve and to win.   

14) Making improvement and overcoming a challenge is always fun and desirable. But it is more rewarding and satisfying if its structured. In general, life or training or whatever it is we are trying to achieve is uncertain and to have a structured way of processing uncertainties is the key. Discovering oneself is made by venturing out of our comfort zone and making uncertainties a constant thing in life. That is endurance in an essence. The ability to stay in uncertainty.

15) Now and finally, I think, being called an Ironman is not that much of a big deal compared to being called a triathlete because being an athlete is not a one off thing. It's who you are inside and who I'm not. But going forward, I have to approach races, training etc. like an athlete mainly because I want to enjoy endurance sport for as long as possible. The aim is not to just finish but to re-live the uncertainties.