new year's eve

i was watching the NBA while surfing the internet when a bunch of religious driven people rang my housebell and started preaching sort of. ASking me to come along and join their program tonight.
It stopped my ecstassy.

These tabligh are mostly the source of uncomfort for those with a busy schedule or those with important things to do... well i bet 90% of them really excuse themselves and their time because we don't want people telling us we're bad people. we already know that. And when faced with these people who really wanted to help we feel insecure and suddenly we panic.

Owh faith. How mom and dad would love seeing us being spiritual and all. But the truth is we are so worked up with our problems that we tend to forgot. I would like to think that we sometime forgot. WE believe, we are not faithless and by far, faith has kept us bound from doing anything wrong.
Well Almost.

And a wakeup call for something like this is rather unexpected when you're hoping for someone to take you out celebrating new year tonight. It really got my brain cranking and change was the way to go at that time. I mean, i can't disagree to everything the dude says because its the truth. It's something that you don't say no or try to start a debate over who's right. They're always right. But my brain was trained to come up with an excuse when this sort of situation happen. And i always ... come up with a beautiful excuse.

Gotta play mr. guard-the-house coz mom and dad are out. What a good boy. I make my self sick sometime. But, you know you gotta drop it like it's hot.

So arsenal, 8.40pm, i'll be glued in front of the TV..... you know it. I do feel terrible and i hope i'd change. But hey, at least i answered when they rang instead of just staying quiet as if no one's home.

you know who you are :)

xxx-mas

merry christmas to all christians, i don't have that many christian friends, hmm.

anyway 2006 is just days ahead, and it's been a good year. And if there was an assesment on life, i would probably say i progressed. At least a little. i finished studying. that's a big progress.

but i'm sad to see some are still struggling, still clueless about themselves. Yes, we human tend to be ignorant. It's human nature. It's not deliberate. It's easier to just let things go rotten as long as YOU are fine. It's much better pleasing YOU then anyone else. It's easier to disagree on things you don't like rather then TRYING to understand it. It's easier to hide your flaws then to change it. IT's easy for YOU to ignore but it's sure as hell isn't easy for people who have taken a good beating on the matter to notice.

when we're growing up and entering these new phase that almost all early 20's kids will, we can't afford to shut our eyes to the harsh reality. i'm more insecure then ever. But i'm glad the delusion of people judging me all the time is slowly fading away. I guess i just don't care anymore. There are many things that needed sorting out. So when i meet, i'll greet. It's as simple as that.

once, when we're kids and innocent there's never this much options. They're either tora-tora or ding-dang. go to school or not. But now, the consequences of our actions go deeper than we ever imagine. It will fuck the next 20-30 years of our lives. But it can also make our life better. Options that could affect the lives of many. Options that could hurt. And you gotta choose based on your priorities. Not anyone elses.

Well almost the majority of those i know are in their early 20's. And it's a fucking crossroad i tell you. You can get lost. so lost that you have to live with it.

Next year (i hope) i'll start to live. For now, i'm as dead as a willow tree in autumn and i'm enjoying it. I'm right now living off things i love doing. Let those dreams and hope just float for now. I'm gonna get to it soon.

For those living their dreams and making things happen as time goes, good for you. If you're stuck, stagnant and not getting to where you wanna be, it's almost never the world or people's fault. you is always a big contributing factor.

bye bye 2005 :)

wow, i must say. sean penn is the only person that can look macho while suffering heart failure. that's the case in 21 grams.

like last days, the plot is quite simple with fucked time line. so, in order to fully understand the movie , audience must finish the movie. good movie. 21 grams.

last days is allright. it's inspired by the last days of kurt cobain. even got the kurt loader MTV interview thing near the end after blake blew his head away. poor artistic people. no one can understand their complex soul. do you have one? if you do, stay away from a loaded rifle and drugs. stick to music and everything would be allrite.

astro screened this cool romantick flick with rene zelweger and obi wan kenobi in it before 21 grams. ( i forgot the dude's name). its set in the 40's. it's quite funny. corny. but funny.

whew, i'm bored already. i'm gonna look for DVD's or wait for any cool movies that astro would screen. i'm downloading NFS most wanted. GTA san andreas is really pissing me off. the map is fucking huge.

ARSENAL NEWS

i am now optimistic about arsenal chances of progressing beyond the last 16 in the champ league after being drawn to real madrid.

well since arsenal and r. madrid both suck at defending at the moment the chances are 50-50.

but considering r. madrid firepower i won't be surpised if arsenal get knocked out of the comp.

anyway, i have faith in the squad and talisman thierry henry who is finding his form.

speaking of arsenal, sunday's game against chelsea should be a treat to watch. after all the mind games, both manager would not consider losing as an option. too much is at stake.

i'm going for an arsenal win. 1 -0. surely.

punk'd

Last sunday i went to jb for my friend's wedding. And it turned out to be some sort of reunion gathering. It's so cool to meet my old comrades from school. Everybody was there. well almost.

These past few days the kids at serdang are getting more into football. And we played almost every afternoon now.

considering about getting a job. maybe later.

ARSENAL lost 2 consecutive league games. the gunners are gunned! but not dead. they're still in the CL and the cups competition.

adios amigos

Good Morning

My vision was restricted
to some natural beauty
where some took for granted
but at 7.30 am this morning
i'm glad i was there
i'm glad god let me share

the long straight road remind me
of little kids who are so pure
sparkling as mineral water
as naive as those who had passions
only to realize they're just reasons
to gain attention

as i was worrying if i'll ever get home
i sing some as a relief
i put faith first cause i believe
even when sometime faith,
is the thing i constantly leave

when the signboard reveal what i wanted to see
i screamed within
to me its like i win
even if i don't know what or who was the competition

maybe when you hope
and it drives you
to some known destination
you would like to think
that you win.

as for resolutions
that could wait some more
cause i can never be done for
resolutions from before

en route

Glad to be back home. It took me 3 and a half hour of a back breaking motorcycle ride to finally reach my front gate.

Wow. I have to come up with something to do to fill my free time. I'm getting my driver's license. Yes, i don't have one. It's like a common thing for people to be driving. Back in the old days, driving is only for those who can afford it. Hmmm...So i'll be common and go for my driver's license.

Oh yeah, The graduation night went great. Met old buddies that has started work already. Some are driving big fancy cars. I'm happy for them. Happy to see them. Happy to see them be happy and finally got their shit work out.

Me and my buddy rambo presented a couple of songs by PADI and PETER PAN during the grad night. menanti sebuah jawaban and bintang di surga. Did some un-rehearsed gimmick. Half way through bintang di surga we messed up and stopped. Everyone thought we were doing some sorta gimmick but the truth was i fucked up because i forgot the chords and stuff. Big laugh from everyone. And later Rambo did some poetry stuff. It was fun.

Me and farah got this really nifty headphones with a mic attached so we could call eachother with YM!. And it was ok eventho the voice got stuck sometime. but still i could hear her and she could hear me. So that's cool.

I'm planning to get me NFS most wanted because from what i have seen the game rocks! shit...
and maybe format my Pc coz my PC annoys me these past few days. I know its not its fault. it's infected with some sort of virus. don't worry PC. I'll format u and later we'll be shifting perfect gears and having lotsa fun with racer chicks.

I really am hoping that i'll be accepted for the masters program at KUiTTHO later next year. I'm gonna visit KPM and ask them personally the procedure concerning my case. ASk them about how i can appeal so i'll be accepted. What's the channel to go through and stuff.

When i think about it, i was at fault for fucking up my own acceptance. I could've at least gotten the minimum allowed CPa to get accepted. During those jahiliah days as i would like to call it, i was drowning with too much money and too much time. And i was lucky not to be kicked out cause that would really fucked up my already fucked up situation.

Like the sand in the hour glass so is the days of our lives?