you guys are way cool

i was lucky enough to have attended the PAC at INTengah last week ..

and there were exactly 133 people there ... i've met both number 1 and number 133 .. so that was pretty cool ..

"it's time to lose and to pretend" [kurt cobain]

the thing is ... people do things to impress and for me its no exception .. i was concentrating so much on impressing that it made me nervous ... shit ... i thought ... i should really enjoy this shit ... and pretend to be a happy go lucky guy who's not afraid to take on the world .. not afraid to speak his mind ... what a bunch of BS .. beautiful BS ...

the experience came easy as most of the people there were so friendly ... i think its due to the fact that we all are striving for the same thing ... it was like school all over again ... it was cool .

and to be a super confident dude was never easy ... but most guys were ....

all those that i've met and talked to were honest cool people ... it was funny and at the same time sickening to see so much friendliness in one place ... most of my days are just with normal people ..with different agendas ....and some time even obnoxious sarcastic people who feel they're buddha on top of a mountain ..

what was there to be seen was the fact that people will do things .. things out of the ordinary to get what they want ... even if it means trying something new or just facing your fear ..

antisocial, suicidal, popular .. liberated .. unique? .. cool honest creative ? .

who the fuck do you think you are?

we're here to label you .. to judge and to critic ...not you .

i think there's a name for that .. social mirror i think ... the mirror reflects ... on ...who you think you are based on people's perception and experience ... but who you are is actually what you do in a given situation ..

it's hard to impress if you have absolutely no skill, knowledge or desire .. if you're as dry as dry ice ..

if you are blessed with some special things that people don't have ...it's better ..

....it's good to have something you're proud of ..but ... don't make it a habit of hoping people to compliment you all the time ...

sometime people don't compliment you because they don't want you to have that satisfaction ...

speaking of awkward dysfunctional relationship with people .. some people should stop being paranoid ... opinions don't kill .. it's ok to fail .. it's good to try ... it's ok to be different but at the same time standardazation is effective ...

it was a good outing and one experience i will rank as one the best i've ever experienced ...