Gunung Nuang Ultra 2017 Race Notes

Gunung Nuang Ultra 5 x 10k with about 2400+ m elevation gain. At 40k blew my quads. I guess it was too much too soon. Just glad to finish my 1st 50km. Lots of things learned and was amazed by those going further than the minimum 50k. The event was great and thanks to all volunteers especially those who motivates when everything went down hill (literally). Now off to bangkok for work (going to be quite difficult with stiff legs haha). #gnu2017 #running #newbie #ultrarunning

A post shared by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on Feb 26, 2017 at 5:00pm PST

1) I was somewhat prepared for the race doing some climbs and had consistently ran. The furthest run was half marathon distance on roads and trails. So I know I could some how get to 20 - 30k, hike the rest of the way and still finish it. Nutrition wise, I have had experiences during long runs and most of the time I don't bonk or hit the wall that bad. By my standard, "bad" means vomitting, pulsating/painful cramps or anything that forces me to stop for a long time. My real concern actually was more on those pesky cramps. Those were usually the limiting factors in races and on long training days. But still, cramps aside, I never went more than 20+km so I knew It's gonna be tough after 30km but the primary goal was to just finish, enjoy the day/trail and learn as much as I can. It is afterall my 1st ultra so I don't have anything to aim for. If I finish, it's definitely gonna be a PB.

2) Race morning and I woke up at 4 and did a 1 km shakeout run, breakfast, poop and went to Nuang. The best thing about a run race is that there's not much gear to prepare unlike a triathlon with all the bikes and stuff. Found a parking spot and went rushing to the toilet to relieve myself only to find that there was a long que forming. So I decided to put my nutrition at the aid station first. It was dark, I needed to piss badly and the race was starting in 5 minutes. I didn't give much thought about the start. I know it was gonna be a long day and the trail was gonna be packed with people. I didn't plan to run going up so it was a really relaxed start to the race. In fact, the race started while I was taking a piss. I wasn't nervous at all and looking back, it was a pretty great start to a race since some time.

3) So as planned, I hiked up until it was runnable. About 1/3 of the 5km going up was runnable. Then on the descent, ran a bit but on steep descents I slowed down to save the quads. At the 10km or start/finish line aid station, I was looking for gels when I realized my car key was not in the race bag I was carrying. I thought maybe it was in the nutrition bags. I kind of had a bad feeling about the whole thing. I tried to ignore it, so I got some food and went for the 2nd loop. Applied the same strategy for the 2nd loop. After 2 loops (20km) I went searching for the keys. I've probably spent about 10 minutes looking for my car keys while at the same time, taking care of nutrition. Still couldn't find them and thought it might be stuck some where in the bag. It has happened before. On the 3rd loop, I took out my poles and ran/hike with them so I was concentrating on the poles and less on the missing keys. It was my first time using poles. I did use a makeshift poles from a couple of sticks at G. Angsi once and found them to be quite helpful in maintaing good form during climbs.

As always I never know, how things tend to end as so,  Always in the waiting line, never the winning kind. (Never know, Kyoto Protocol) Flashback friday to #gnu2017. One of the moments where I'm actually running lol. #fbf #vert #trailrunning 📷 Rany Tan FB (tq)

A post shared by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on Mar 9, 2017 at 11:34pm PST

4) By the end of the 4th loop, I properly took out all of the content in search of my car keys and by then I knew I was fucked. I have lost my keys. I was like "what the fuck am I going to do now"? I had 10km to go. I can quit and go look for my keys or finish the damn thing and look for it afterwards. I decided to finish the race and was going to deal with it afterwards. So, I didn't get much nutrition because I was getting lazy and was worried sick about my keys. Spent the whole time going up thinking about where I placed them and how I was going to explain all of the mess to my wife.

5) On the final loop, after hiking up a bit and upon reaching the runnable section, my quads started to cramp. Then it became worse and I had to stop and stretch it out. I knew I'm at borderline here. Tried running and it just won't go away. So I walked the rest of the way (which was probably about 6km +) and finished the race. The first thing I did was went looking for my keys at the aid station and then at the surau. Then I walked to the car worried that it might get stolen (paranoid much?). Finally went back to the organizer and asked them if anyone found a car key. The organizer said "was it a honda?" I was like "yeah" and was so relieved and thank the guy who found them. Turned out, I accidently left them at the aid station. I must have accidently put my keys along with all my nutrition. It was dark and I was rushing to the toilet. Talk about lesson learned.

This sums it up. Quads screaming but most of us still manage to squeeze out a smile. Strangers giving encouragement and local organizers with great support and hospitality. The plan was to pace evenly going slow in the first half and finish the 2nd half strong. But that didn't happen. Was walking at a humbling pace in the 2nd half. In the words of Kurt Cobain "its better to burn out than to fade away" but I kinda managed both.  Time: 7:35:15 Distance: 50km Pic by Jack Ah Beh (tq) #gunungnuangultra2017 #gnu2017

A post shared by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on Feb 28, 2017 at 9:30pm PST

6) As for the race, I'm sure there are more interesting reports about the race out there, so I'm not gonna go into details. Just that, at 40km ,I lost my focus and didn't eat well. I had several chances to rectify my nutrtion during the 5th loop since I had some food with me. But I was lazy to do so and it was too late by the time I finally did manage to get some nutrition in. Mentally, I went on with the narrative I had in my head even before the race started which was to walk if I had to after 30km, so it was kind of like a self fulfilling prophecy in a way.

7) All in all it was nice event. Food was good, simple and I like the fact that I felt relaxed going into it. I manage to complete it in 7h 35 min. Don't know if that was good or bad. It doesn't matter. I finished it. My 1st ultra. In retrospect, I could've probably do better at 40k but the car key incident just totally threw me off. I then got really lazy/super tired and didn't execute my nutrition well and in a race lasting more than 2 hours, the smallest mistakes can have enormous consequences. It's like the most frequent advice you'd read on ultras articles and I've experienced it 1st hand. At least I didn't compound that by actually losing my car key.

8) To be fair, I arrived at the start line not totally fresh. Only taper for a day after running about 70+km that week. So I wasn't in an ideal condition to race but knowing I can consistently run day in and out, and having no major issue after such a long run is comforting.

9) Went back, sore and stiff. Got some food and rested. Wake up the next day to catch a flight to Bangkok. Upon arriving, rested for a day and did some easy run on Tuesday to let the legs know who's boss. They only obey by Thursday.

Chanelling my inner tourists and went shopping at MBK. I was bargaining just for the sake of it. Partly wanted to make my wife proud and simultaneously avoid ridicule when I go back to tell her about it.  #negotiations

A post shared by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on Mar 1, 2017 at 5:59am PST

10) Did trans nuang to signal an end to the base phase as I shift my focus to running on roads mid March, April and May. Going to cap running at +-60k per week and compliment easy run days with quality workouts for the Sub 4 attempt in May. But before the attempt, I sneaked in some trail race: Hulu Langat Trail Run 18k and King of Kg. Kemensah 50k.

More on that later.

Logs and plans

Yamtuan Antah. Cool route.

A photo posted by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on Dec 31, 2016 at 9:46pm PST

So logging starts. Monthly updates, hopefully. Likewise in Ironman training, I scheduled some races leading up to SCKLM 17. Considering I plan to do an ultra race (have to get some LSD anyways), I decided put in some challenging trail days to get some elevation in and to get the body ready. I guess for 2017, that epic race is TMBT 100k.

Races:

1H2017

1) Nuang Ultra
2) Hulu Langat Trail Run
3) King Of Kampung Kemensah
4) SCKLM

2H2017

5)Cultra
6)TMMT
7)TMBT

And I've planned some trail run/hike to get some elevation with the elevation increased progressively.

1) G. Datuk
2) G. Angsi via Ulu Bendul
3) G. Datuk + G. Gagak + G. Rembau
4) G. Nuang
5) G. Berembun + G. Telapak Buruk
6) G. Angsi via Ulu Bendul + B. Putus
7) Trans Nuang

So far, I'm only left with trans nuang. I'm waiting for my Salomon Skin Pro 10 to arrive and also get some additional gears before attempting it. These trails are about (or less) than an hour from home (or my parent's) so the convenient factor + the nice elevation was the main reason all these courses were chosen. So far I think the best would be G. Berembun since it has everything and runnable. Would love to do Broga but there are probably too many people on weekends, but we'll see.

The 1st half of 2017 training is mainly to set a PB at SCKLM. At the same time, the 1st half base phase is also a time to explore new trails to train for the 2nd half of the year. Volume will peak mid march with a total mileage of around 80km. I don'k know if it's possible, but that's what I'm aiming for. Focus on endurance and speed for the last 2 months before SCKLM.

A months break for Ramadhan and training continue in the mountains again. This time probably more specific/threshold stuff.

The 2nd half training is mainly focused on finishing TMBT. So it's gonna be a lot of long runs and climbs.    

1H2017 Stats:
Start/Ends: 27 November 2016/21 May 2017
Planned Number of Training Weeks:
26
Goal Average Distance Per Week: 60km+-
Goal Average Elevation Per Week: min 1,000m+-

Roadmap

16 just held such better days,  days when I feel so alive, couldn't wait to get outside (Adam's song, Blink 182) Happy 2017! #trailrunning #dirtoverasphalt #chasingvert

A photo posted by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on Dec 31, 2016 at 9:42pm PST

Judging by the Ironman training, I've made an error in judgement by skipping base training. Base is the most difficult and most important phase. During base you have to go slow and its counter intuitive to go slow since naturally you want to go fast. Patience and faith is needed in base training. Most of my reading lead me to believe the base portion is the main phase of a training plan and hopefully I can perform them right. I also think the base phase is the right time to train to gauge speed and effort without garmin. I can also listen to music and explore new routes since I'm not tied up to any specific workout. It's simply just ... run.

Plan is to periodize to peak for SCKLM (planning for a sub 4 or a PB) in May and complete some ultras and one last big race nearing end of 2017. Most ultras especially those sought after races occur after syawal so it's also something I have to look into. Went for a standard 4 week macro cycle. 1 peak, 2 level and a recovery week. Will take it easy in June during Ramadhan and sort of re-start again after.

Decided to focus on a base of maybe around 3 months of easy runs, some elevation and strength training. I try not to be too fancy about it. If I can stay consistent running with an average of +-60km per week with +-1000 m of elevation, I'm set. Increase by 10% per week every 3rd week. Won't care about speed. Also rest/recovery every 4th week and if needed. Try not to push things too much. Also a marker workout to track fitness progress every recovery week.

Basically, at a micro level, a week in base is a combo of long run (trail/road), a medium run and the rest just easy runs. Week starts on Sunday and ends on Saturdays. This is so I can get the long run out of the way early and just fill the rest of the week with a recovery, strength, speed and threshold workout when those phases arrives. I learned that I usually had to skip my long runs due to a missed weekend. This way, I can re arrange my long runs to the next weekend and the mileage will still be considered in the same training week. Have to see how that'll turn out and adjust.

Then of course I have to balance mileage and speed/threshold workouts as SCKLM gets closer. A good taper and finally race.

I came to realize that its not that complicated, but it can be. The ironman training certainly provided some indication of what personally works and doesn't. This time I just want to be a bit flexible but have a plan to guide so that I have something to aim for every week.

Few rules:

1) Staying consistent by excecuting safe run combos. No hard day followed by another hard day. Hard means long or tough sessions.
2) Recovery: 1 day per week (no running/cross training), 1 week per month (go easy and reduce mileage to 70% from previous)
3) Be Specific: Go long, go vert, go on trails, go long on vert trails.
4) Stop/cross train when injured
5) Minimum 1 strength /core session
6) Do drills and strides on easy days
7) Split long days if needed

I'm also not going to update progress every week like I did during Ironman 2016. Maybe a monthly summary would suffice. We'll see.

Here we go.

2017 run

Trail and tarmac (borrow caption from @davidlaney12) #dirtoverasphalt #trailrunning #chasingvert

A photo posted by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on Dec 17, 2016 at 8:37pm PST

This year is gonna be all about running. Few issues I have with running are that, the longer I go, the more it hurts. The faster I go, the more it hurts. Combine the two, running can be quite painful. Since I signed up for a 50k trail run/ultra race, I sort of have to run far and somewhat fast. So, these issues require attention or I'll be in trouble even before the race starts in February. I also signed up for a marathon and executing them well is also one of 2017 goal. So a proper training plan is required.

Since I'll be running trail, I need to run on trail. Finding one is a challenge by itself. There's plenty, but in terms of logistics it's quite inconvenient to get to. I love the fact that I can just go out the door and run straight away. But for trail running, it seems like I have no choice but to drive to get to a trail. Especially trails with a pretty decent elevation. So places/courses to train that don't take much time to get too is required as well.

Trail running usually involves few hikes/walks due to the sheer amount of ascent one have to do. So pace would be significantly slow and more often than not, I'll probably be spending a lot of time on the trail. There are no shops selling 100 plus or snickers bars which means I have to carry my own nutrition and water. The weather could also turn and I might end up running in the rain, muddy with leeches etc. Getting lost/injured is a real possibility too.

So good gears, nutrition and carrying important items are essential.

More on these later.

2017

In 2016 I committed to record and write about stuff especially tracking progress. Its cool to look back at those moments in writing. So I'm gonna continue. If it's important then it's worthwhile to record them.

It's now 2017 and sporting wise, 2016 was relatively a great year. I won't go into details cause it's something that'll take ages to write about.

The highlights for 1st half of 2016 would be PBing my Half Ironman and Powerman. Started the year by having a strcutured training regiment but didn't strictly follow the program or monitor my progress much. I guess I was on the steep section of the learning curve where significant improvements were gained by not doing a lot. Got 2nd place in a trail run at Kemensah and almost a sub 2 at Nilai Marathon. Ran and enjoyed more trails.

In the 2nd half of 2016, committed to a training plan. Didn't follow 100% but felt the need to objectively assess how much work was done. So I closely track the metrics and developed a simple monitoring system with MS excel. I also felt it was important to log how I feel or feelings I had when training or whatever observation I had at that time. Race wise, learned a lot blowing up in races and a sub 2 half marathon followed by a 7th place finish in the Mantin Hill 2 Hill run capped of a great "racing season" for the 2nd half of 2016.

Then, the big and final race of 2016, Ironman Langkawi. The race that anchors everything. In the space of 2 weeks leading to Ironman Langkawi, my grandfather passed away and my wife gave birth to a baby girl days later. My head wasn't in its right place and training didn't go as planned but I accepted all of these circumstances. I finished the race and I think the effort that was put in matched the result. The race itself wasn't the highlight and I forgotten much about the details of the race. But the training, the preparation for the Ironman was probably the best thing that has ever happened because I learned a lot. Training for Ironman revealed a lot. The main thing I learned was about scheduling and being extra careful with time. With 3 sport to train for, time is of the essence.

There were also highlights personally and professionally, things outside sports such as the trip with buddies/family to Tasik Kenyir, vacations etc that was pretty awesome as well. But those memories are reserved/saved just for me.

Right. Now that 2016 is all done and dusted, it's time to line up a new project for 2017. It has to be epic by my standard. It has to be long, impossible (almost) to do without training and most of all fun. I also have to consider the financial damage it will cost me.

Trail running in the contrasting city of #putrajaya. Amidst all the development lies a nice gravel trail which goes around lakes and beautiful natural landscapes. Music, run and exploring new routes. Good fun.  #dirtoverasphalt #trailrunning

A photo posted by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on Dec 8, 2016 at 6:11pm PST

Looking back at 2016, I was always curious when running on trails especially those really long ones. Trail running was a sort of escapism from the Ironman routine and I always wonder why haven't I done it sooner. It seems that there's a whole segment of endurance junkies who ran more than the typical marathon distance. I thought running 42km was crazy. Try 100 - 200km. That's nuts. But I was curious. There was an element of uncertainty, a challenge to overcome and an epic race to sort of hold everything together in a structured way. Trail running puts two things I love together, being outdoors and running. It was not harder or easier than a road race but it's unique. The longer trail races or ultramarathons demand similar things as any endurance event i.e solid preparation, the right gear, nutrition and race day strategies.

The difference would be that, elevation is something that's factored in trail races or ultramarathon. In an Ironman, a hill is a specific point on a course where participants have to go through at some point in the race. In trail racing or ultras, it is the course. The hill/mountains and the whole natural topography is the race course. Which makes for a far more scenic run. It's quite lonely sometimes too. Quiet, peaceful. You can walk without feeling guilty or wimpy because the terrain won't let you run no matter how strong you are.

The top 10 finish in 2016's trail races also sort of strengthen that feeling of wanting to go out and run/race in the wild and to train to become a better trail runner. So immediately after Ironman I signed up for my first ultra in February 2017. A 50km/ 12 hour run at Gunung Nuang. Its a 5 X 10km loop and is perfect if I ever decided to drop out or anything LOL. Have started pre-training, recon some courses to train at and developed a plan that'll guide me towards that epic ultra race near the end of 2017, whatever race that'll turn out to be. As far as triathlon is concerned, it'll supplement my run training and I'll treat it as cross training. Currently not looking forward/planning to do any tris in 2017. I won't say I'm done with multisport as I started with triathlons and always enjoyed doing them. But, it's financially consuming and takes a lot of time. Those factors had huge bearing on my decision to pause triathlon/multisport.

2017 means challenging not only how far or fast I can go, but also how high (elevation) I can go. I've started obsessing about it and I guess it'll be the theme for 2017. It's not as complicated as the Ironman but the challenge could be similar or even greater.

It looks to be exciting if everything goes to plan. Also have some other non sport personal goal to address but that's another story.

Project IMMY 2016 Review

I celebrated as soon as I realized I got this. My motivation to keep running was to go for a sub 5 marathon. I did that and it was my marathon PB. I left everything out there and finished knowing I pushed as hard as I could. The downside was that I almost collapsed near the end. So 7 years of dreaming to cross the IM finish line only to have a picture of me almost falling down at the finishing arc. LOL.

A photo posted by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on Nov 17, 2016 at 1:35am PST

It's all done and now it's time to look back and review what was done. Apart from training, blogging/recording about the whole thing was part of the project. Previously, I only log training miles and training observations. It's a simple excel file and I didn't bother to publish it on the web. But I always wanted to know whether my thoughts changed/would change while undergoing this whole project and the blog was a good platform for that. Therefore, I decided to commit writing on training progress and see how that developed. I can't believe I've reached the end. I'm my own critic so what was written mostly came straight from my head and influenced a bit by other literature.

For the recording/writing part of the project, I usually start with metric logging, track progress, observations and finally my thoughts on training and how I felt. Here goes.

1) All data were recorded using the 920XT. Lost workout data are estimated conservatively due to Garmin error (mostly sync error) or human error (basically me screwing up my garmin - not pushing button etc..).

Training Days: 127 days (roughly 5 months/17 weeks)

Overall Completion Rate: 85.2%

Total Distance Covered: 2608.4km

*swim/bike/run/brick only

Swim Distance: 86 km

Bike Distance: 2039.4 km

Run Distance: 483 km

Total Training Duration:235h 55m

*swim/bike/spin bike/run/brick/supplementary training

Swim Duration:38h 04m

Bike Duration:121h 10m

Run Duration:53h 13m

Supplementary training duration:23h 26m

*Core/Stability/Stairs/Stretch

Total Elevation Gained:19842m

2) Swim 

Swim KPI:136.312 km

Swim Actual:86km (63.1%)

Swim progress was measured using distance.

The first half of training was ok since volume was manageable with the 1 hour I have during lunch. There's no way I could swim close to 6km in a single session so I had to break it apart. I didn't swim on weekends or any other time to make up the volume though. Apart from that, I wasn't swimming consistently enough nearing race day. I was done with swim training as soon as I felt I did enough to finish the swim. I do get in the pool but didn't perform any specific workouts. In hindsight, maybe I could do more but limitations meant this was probably as good as it gets.

On race day, I didn't push it during the swim. More like I "couldn't", especially without elevating my heart rate. The comfortable effort on race day coupled with the inconsistent swim training fairly reflected my swim time and pace. Sighted a lot and also got some rough treatment from other swimmers through out. Fitness wise, the training helped to finish the 3.8km swim. But due to time constraint, technique was compromised. So all in all, fair.

Swim Time: 1:30:03

Swim Pace: 2:19/100m

3) Bike 

Bike KPI:125h37m

Bike Actual:12h10m (96.5%)

Bike progress were measured using time.

The completion rate is a bit misleading as in the early part of training I conciously deviate from was prescribed in the training plan. I knew some of the routes I chose would be long and hard compared to what I was suppose to do. So the long rides was really slow and long. That sort of made up most of the (junk) overall times. So in short, bike volume/time didn't slowly progressed. It was haphazard, fluctatuating and to be honest, I just wanted to sort of achieve the overall KPI. I sometime went double than what was scheduled and few weeks after went below the target.

A steady progression would've probably serve me better on race day. I struggled after 130km and on the hills because I probably didn't have enough base. So I was slower than expected. I expected like at least a 27 km/h average ride. But my expectation was based on a 150km single bike ride so, a bit naive there. For the bike, I really feel I didn't train enough or wisely enough eventhough training was close to 100%. The spikes in training meant I didn't get the full benefit from training. Could've done better.

Bike Time:6:53:43

Bike Pace:26.14km/h

4) Run 

Run KPI:57h15m

Run Actual:53h13m (93%)

Run progress were measured using time.

Out of the 3 discipline, run training increased progressively. The only issue was maybe intensity. Some easy and tempo runs were too hard, a typical beginner problem. Didn't do much long run and when I did knees/tendons were hurting. That was the reason why it's more conservative to run according to the training plan. But when feeling good, I probably went too hard on some sessions.

Also felt like I peaked too early. During race day, no issue aerobically just that couldn't hold faster pace because of muscular fatigue. But running after a bike and run was never going to be easy, and I did PBed the marathon, so overall, quite pleased with the run.

Run Time:4:55:48

Run Pace: 7 min/km

5) Brick was done every week to build confidence and also cramp proof the quads. The brick also revealed realistic run paces which guided the effort on race day.

6) Suplementary training was the biggest change made in this training programme. Without it, all of the above probably wouldn't be achieved because of injury or simply getting tired too early. Strength/stair training helps form. Never went a week without strength training.

7) Races that I was really pleased was the MPKJ marathon. PBed my half marathon and ran pretty well. Progressed into a faster pace and manage to maintain a fairly quick pace till the end. That week I was at my peak (highest VO2max score) as told by Garmin. On race day my VO2max score dropped 3 points. The other race that had helped a lot was the Mantin Hill 2 Hill Challenge where the distance and elevation provided a much needed confidence to validate that the training somewhat works.

8) Nutrition during training was not good at all. This left a lot to be desired. Bad eating habits was probably the main factor to tiredness pre/post workouts. But fueling on race day was ok. No stomach issue.

9) Mistakes in training:

• Started at week 7. Skipped 6 weeks of base training and I really feel this was the major mistake made. Should've started at week 1 and forget about speed. 
• Too many spikes in training and not training in the right intensity zones. 
• Not working much on technique for the swim.
• Strength training was focused on the core and less on legs.

10) Improvements:

• Do base training with a steady progression and in the right intensity zones.
• Strength session in the early period of training.
• Focus on technique pre-swim base training.
• Focus on speed only when the body can handle the strain.

That's it for Ironman training. Eventhough I knew these typical beginner mistakes beforehand, I only realized how hard it was to overcome them in actual training. It feels like I've succumbed to these pitfalls because I was not patient enough to let things flow. I pushed it because of time constraints. The paces/times in races and training was a direct result of training. It's a great feeling to finally validate the notion I had about training. One thing for sure is that you can't force them. You HAVE to do the time.

Feeling Notes Project IMMY2016

Certainty

1) A big day is usually reserved for life altering events. A wedding for example, a birth of a child, your graduation, the time you were accepted for your first job etc. To me, the Ironman certainly deserved to be ranked up there. Some events are "expected" as we get older; for example, getting married, having kids, getting a job etc. These are the path in life that we automatically adhere to and they're important nonetheless. However, for the Ironman, it wasn't the cultural norm or something that people would do to conform to society. You don't fulfill society or your family expectations by doing an Ironman. It's a voluntary choice which for me, was made 7 years ago when I read those powerful words displayed on the Ironman website. "You will do this".

2) I had to skip IMMY 2010 because I didn't have time to train since I was away for a 6 months course. IMMY came back in 2014 but I was getting ready to leave for the UK. Missed 2015 because I just got back from the UK. So 2016 was it. My first Ironman. As luck has it, 2016 would be the final installment of Ironman Langkawi. It took me 7 years to finally cross that finish line and seems like it was my first and last (for Langkawi at least).

3) To be honest, the reason for me to attempt the Ironman was superficial. I wanted the title. I wanted to do something that was near difficult but doable and niche. Something that require effort and will show in the end. I wanted to belong with the selected few who'd done it. That was the appeal. I'm convinced that finishing the damn thing was hard and if I did it, I can rank myself above the average joes. I soon realize the Ironman/training was my way of compensating other under achievements in my life.

Illusion of certainty

4) You always hear stuff like if you exercise, you are literally lapping everyone else on the couch? But that doesn't seem to do it for me. It's a bit convenient to use that as an excuse to just show up and barely finish the Ironman. That wasn't what triathlon or the Ironman was suppose to be like. Not to me anyway. I wanted it to appear like how it was when I first learned about it 7 years ago. Brutal, and you HAVE to work hard to even finish it. Being a triathlete was not enough. My logic was all Ironman are triathletes but not all triathletes are Ironman. So once and for all, I just had to do the Ironman to validate that triathlete or triathlon are tough. That if I do the Ironman, which is the longest of all triathlon distance I've ever attempted,  will unlock triathlon and reveal to me the true nature of the sport. It will unlock what it means to be a triathlete. I want to experience the hurt not only in races but also training. It has to mean something more than just a race. I have to feel like I earned it.

5) I felt like I can finish the Ironman if I trained some, so I just had to put that feeling to test. I never DNFed my races no matter how hard things get. Partly because there wasn't any real issues for me to finish a race. And that was how i approached races. To simply finish. So, I think as time goes by, I sort of celebrated mediocrity. Between 2010 to 2014 I just kept finishing races without any specific objectives. I felt like as long as I finish a triathlon I was entitled to that triathlete status. I didn't properly train. I didn't care about training at different paces let alone care about nutrition. Core training? Waste of time. A training plan usually means completing the distance as fast as possible. Period. A painful lesson learned during my maiden marathon and some other longer races that followed.

6) This self entitlement was probably strengthen by the fact that I'm probably the only guy in the office who swim, bike and run. I'm the only one who is crazy enough to ... . People marvel at my ability to endure. As a self proclaimed triathlete I was by default already in that "special" bracket (at least in my head). Naturally, my performance reached plateau and I did not improve. I did not get injured but also didn't get any faster. I was stagnant. I wasn't doing the Ironman. And more and more people are doing it, finishing it, with less training than I thought people should have. It is quickly starting to lose its appeal. It's getting more commercialized/mainstream. Was Ironman becoming the new marathon? 

Uncertainty

7) In 2016, I still held on to the idea that you have to train or you simply can't complete it. So I started paying attention to training by 4th quarter of 2015. I took part in the weekly 5k park run while in the UK and I wanted to run a sub 20 min 5k thinking that it'll help the run leg of the Ironman. So I started to train specifically for that. My PB for a 5k was 21:43 and that was the best it got. My running didn't improve much and I feel like I could do better had I trained more. The real reason was probably had to do with my haphazard way of training. Once back in Malaysia, I again revisit the Ironman idea. Ironman was on top of my to do list for 2016 and I was already curious about structured training. Especially how the pros did it. I read about Macca, Crowie, Jan Frodeno, Lance Armstrong, Kurt Cobain, The Tarahumara (Born to Run), Killian Jornet, Scott Jurek etc. and I realized that these people, who were masters of their craft, didn't care about titles and winning. They do it because they love to push themselves and explore what they are capable of. They strive for improvement. There's something pure about their approach. They are passionate. They are so fixiated on the process and the end didn't matter as long as they've put every last effort in the process. Basically they train to be a better version of themselves and to continue to improve and explore their limits. They race of course, to win. But they don't always train to win. They train to improve and go beyond their limits.

8) So convinced by the pros and largely by the large amount of funds committed for Ironman Langkawi in 2016, I wanted to do it right. I wanted to not to only finish but at the same time explore my limits. I wanted to learn about the process, approach the damn thing with sort of a pro mindset. Determination, commitment, desire etc. An array of motivation quotes can be used to sum up how I feel during the early stages of my Ironman training. Training. That to me was how the Ironman is going to be earned. 

Reality

9) It was harder than I tought as chronicled in my training posts. I realized that it takes a lot to reach to a competetive level in Ironman. A LOT. What I did in 2016 leading up to IMMY 2016 seems like nothing compared to the pros or even competetive age groupers. The amount of training is just crazy. And near the end, I slacked off a bit. These people spent a lifetime getting better. They've done their time and they are reaping the rewards of being patient and disciplined. 

10) More often than not, I sort of use it to feed social media. Sometimes, I feel like I was milking it (conciously or unconciously) when I announce I do triathlons. I was definitely not puking by the tracks, or going on epic bike rides or swim 3-4 hours a day. It's far from those youtube videos where people talk about sacrifices and run towards the sunset shirtless etc (Jan Frodeno btw.). I was merely a finisher and I had fun doing it. I walked the runs. I barely made the swim. And to be honest, the bike was painful. I also imagined that I was going to be hurting so bad that I would barely made it. It wasn't like that. I finished and it was satisfying. Primarily because I trained for it. 

11)  Let's not get started on the cost and time spent to just finish this race, which in hindsight seems a bit absurd. To be fair though, even though triathlon is resource consuming and sometime suck the joy out of your life, most of the times I enjoyed training. I like the tranquility of long ride and runs. I like doing flip turns because its cool. I like the fact that I can swim freestyle. Training is just fun and probably the main reason why I continued doing it. Racing was fun too. I mean, that's the only thing that justifies all the training and investments made. So Ironman was probably an excuse. Maybe even without Ironman I would venture and do this things purely because I need a challenge, something to overcome.

12) So, a sense of realization about being a triathlete/Ironman was also a result of this Ironman project. Ironman didn't feel like THE Ironman I envisaged. It's just another sport that was fun, challenging and most importantly revealing. I thought training would elevate me as a triathlete but instead it showed who I was and who I wasn't.

The only certainty is uncertainty and that is the reality

13) That's why Ironman to me, is a life altering event. As far as sports is concerned, I can probably divide it into pre and post-Ironman where after Ironman, I felt like the trajectory of my life has changed. I realize that you can call yourself anything, a runner, a swimmer, a cyclist, a football player etc. But athlete? That term should be reserved for people who embodies discipline, long term commitment and awareness of their body and capabilities. Plus yearning to improve and to win.   

14) Making improvement and overcoming a challenge is always fun and desirable. But it is more rewarding and satisfying if its structured. In general, life or training or whatever it is we are trying to achieve is uncertain and to have a structured way of processing uncertainties is the key. Discovering oneself is made by venturing out of our comfort zone and making uncertainties a constant thing in life. That is endurance in an essence. The ability to stay in uncertainty.

15) Now and finally, I think, being called an Ironman is not that much of a big deal compared to being called a triathlete because being an athlete is not a one off thing. It's who you are inside and who I'm not. But going forward, I have to approach races, training etc. like an athlete mainly because I want to enjoy endurance sport for as long as possible. The aim is not to just finish but to re-live the uncertainties.

Ironman Langkawi 2016: Race Notes

Ironman Langkawi 2016: Athlete #331

1. Few days leading up to the race itself was quite tough. 2 weeks before the race, I wasn't even sure I would start the race. My grandfather was ill and my 3rd child due date was actually in the week of the Ironman. I am certain I can't travel considering the (then) current situation. My grandfather passed away on Thursday and my baby was born on Monday. I won't reveal much but let's just say emotionally/physiologically it made me think a lot about what I'm doing and about to do. So, the most anticipated race of my life and I just can't find the mojo. It was a hard week trying to pick myself up. I didn't train much and when I did, I didn't care about pace/intensity. All I actually did was showed up and just workout. It was taper week anyway. But as the saying goes, do your best, and let God do the rest. Alhamdullilah, I started and finished the race.

Approaching Malaysia's big island #immalaysia #immy2016 #ironmantri #ironmantriathlon

A photo posted by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on Nov 9, 2016 at 4:46am PST

2. My race strategy was quite simple. The theme would be to stay comfortable and keep moving. On the swim I decided early that I would focus on going as straight as I can and maintain a comfortable rhythm. And don't get stung by jellyfish. On the bike, to stay comfortable and fuel on the first loop and try to gain some time on the descend on the second loop. And hope not to experience any puncture/mechanical. On the run, walk at every aid station and maintain a decent respectable pace (by my standard). And not bonk. I relied on my heart rate monitor to validate my effort and to ensure I stayed "comfortable".

Come this time tomorrow we'll be swimming in that fine sea. Wishing all participants good luck. Stay healthy, it's a long day tomorrow. 1 day to Ironman Langkawi 2016. #TadonamoTriathletes #Tadonamo #mymajorevents #MME #MMExIronmanLangkawi #DATR #GarminMalaysia #RudyProjectMalaysiaBrunei #Lucozadesport #EPLUS #N8 #ProMMR #IronmanLangkawi #100%Mental #immy2016 #immalaysia #ironmantriathlon

A photo posted by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on Nov 10, 2016 at 3:57pm PST

3. So, race morning, I went into transition and pumped my tires. Helped a buddy of mine pumped his tyres. Chatted with other athletes on the beach and got some last minute tips about the swim course which proved to be really helpful. I warmed up a bit trying to get my shoulder loose and just get the feel of the water. The water wasn't cold as I expected it to be. I warmed up pretty good. When I finished warming up, I didn't remember waiting for too long. So wave starts as I went and try to get to the front as much as possible. Once in the water, I started doing my thing. It was really a comfortable swim. Was bitten by some sea bugs but it wasn't the first time, so I proceeded even though the spot was burning. Sighting was good. There were buoys and flags all over the swim course and kayaks as well. You could practically sight the buoys or anything on land. I think it's unlikely that you'd go way off course with the kayaks marshaling swimmers and everything. But it was a long swim. Very long. I didn't get tired but I got bored. It was long. Long, Long, Loooooooooooooooooooong.

For me, the race started the day I said I'd do this and that's about 7 years ago. Tomorrow I can finally conclude my 7 year obsession with Ironman Langkawi. Even until now, nothing is certain but that's the thing that makes it special. Everything will unravel tomorrow and hopefully all participants, especially first timers, can cross the line as Ironman. Swim 3.8 km, Bike 180 km, Run 42.2 km. Cherish for the rest of your life. Ironman Candidate #331 #TadonamoTriathletes #Tadonamo #mymajorevents #MME #MMExIronmanLangkawi #DATR #GarminMalaysia #RudyProjectMalaysiaBrunei #Lucozadesport #EPLUS #N8 #ProMMR #IronmanLangkawi #100%Mental #immy2016 #immalaysia #ironmantriathlon

A photo posted by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on Nov 11, 2016 at 4:06am PST

4. On the last stretch heading back to the beach, I up the pace a bit because I just wanted to get out of the water and also the spectator factor (you always go faster when people are watching, don't know why). Walking into T1 I saw my dad and he was really cheerful. Not to mention other supporters/buddies who came to give their support. It was electric as I got into T1. I love T1 and I think the best part about doing a triathlon is T1. Once in T1, got my bag and put on everything. Most of the athletes were delighted to finish the swim and took their time. But there were others who charged out of T1. As for me, I just stayed comfortable. It's going to be a super long ride. Looooooooooooooooooooooooooong.

Fuel, Take it Easy, Comfortable. The guy behind me seems to be doing the same.

5. Got on my bike and quickly got some calories in and some water. I needed a sports drink and another bottle of water as I only brought one bottle of plain water with me. So I did that at the first aid station. The Datai climbs wasn't much of a surprise as I rode the route 2 days before the actual race. I knew once I got through Datai it will be more or less neutral elevation. I sort of got a sugar rush from my second gel and a banana and actually went a bit faster than I should. Once I reached the Kuah climbs things got real. I had to do the climb twice and I know It's going to be tough the second time around. And it was. I struggled on the Kuah climb. But for the rest of the ride I stayed comfortable. Too comfortable perhaps. There were kids on the side of the road cheering and asking for high fives. Or so I thought. Turned out, they just wanted empty bottles. The route was ok except for some awkward twist and turn which totally disrupts my rhythm (slow, but still). The ride was tougher than I anticipated as the climbs sucked a lot of energy out of me. But the main challenge on the bike was actually to remain focused, especially because I never rode that long. And I mean really looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong.

Probably nearing the end of the ride judging by the absence of water bottle on the frame. I discarded them on the final 20 km.

6. I stopped only once at the aid station near special needs. Stopped, peed, ate something and even chatted with the volunteers who were Langkawi locals. They were really nice. They offered me lots of stuff like ice, bananas etc. I don't really need them but maybe out of courtesy (since they were so enthusiastic about helping you out) I accepted everything. So I spent a lot of time at that particular aid station. I planned to stop anyway. Knowing I still have like about 100km to go I moved on. This was when it got really comfortable. I was day dreaming. I kept a relatively high cadence and it felt like one of those training ride where you just wanted to get home and nothing else mattered. It was a long 2nd loop heading to T2. Loooooooooooooooooooooooooong.

Long training ride. 

7. It started to rain just as I got in MIEC (T2). The timing couldn't be more perfect. I was worried about my bike handling in the rain with the crazy descend on the bike course. But, I know the rain would help my run. It is proven in PD Tri where the same thing happened where just after completing the bike it started to rain. I ran a 10km PB that day and eventually PB'ed the race. So I was happy. And I wasn't the only one. T2 was buzzing. Smiles everywhere. I prayed and put on my stuff. And again, my entourage was there supporting me. My mum, dad and my son. So, it was a very good start to the run. I can usually gauge how good it would be on the start of the run and it seems promising. Since it was raining, I ran the first 2km faster than I should. Considering it was raining and cool, my effort was not off the charts like the usual run off the bike I did in training. However, I knew it was too early for any heroics. I still have a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong way to go.

Thnks mum and dad for supporting, though they actually prefer I take on other hobbies. But I guess, being supportive is every parents job description.

A photo posted by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on Nov 10, 2016 at 2:56am PST

8. The first order of business was to stabilize my heart rate. And soon enough, I settled to a more realistic pace and effort. I broke up the run into a 21-10-11 targets. The first target was to run a half marathon. So I ran as planned. The next target was a 10km. No biggie. And then, the rain stopped. I remember the last 3 km to get to 30km was really hard. But I was still running although I spent a lot of time at aid stations basically trying to ensure everything was taken care of before I set off running again. This was when I realize there was no point trying to keep up this low heart rate strategy. I was well below my aerobic zone with all that stopping. So the last 3km of the 30km, I conciously made sure my heart rate didn't get too low. So I ran. It was weird. I slowed down to stabilize/lower my heart rate for the 1st half of the run but for the 2nd half of the run I actually had to run to get it back up again. But it worked and probably prevented me from walking too much. So, as I got to the 30km mark, I was actually feeling quite ok. This was when, like in any other running races I did, a decision had to be made. Either to go for it or just run comfortable. At that time I know a 10km run to the finish will feel long. Really looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong.

Gotta love the rain. Gotta love the pain.

9. A decision was made. I've been comfortable for far too long. Ironman was suppose to hurt and I was ready to hurt. I stopped looking at my Garmin and just ran, and spent little time at aid stations. My heart rate never got to threshold since my legs were starting to hurt, cramped etc and I had to slow down a bit at times. So I initiated the pain protocol. Ice all major muscle groups at the aid station, spray perskindol, eat some, drank exclusively 2 cups of coke and washed it down with water and go. I did cramped in between aid stations but stretching sort of made it went away. It was just run, run, run, move, move, move. Shut everything off. Run, move. It was a long run. Really loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong.

Made sure I press stop.

10. With about 5-6km left, I realized I could actually sub-5 this marathon. Seems plausible with the way I'm feeling and how my pain protocol managed to keep the cramps under control. That made me ran faster. I was going to do it. So the last 5km was about pushing as hard as I could. I know I could just blow up at any moment but stopping at every aid stations probably prevented a total blow out. It was starting to feel like those tempo runs except for the fact that my legs were numb with all that ice stuffed in my shorts. I knew I got the race in the bag but I had to keep going as a sub-5 marathon was at stake. The final few kms were long and painful. Painfully looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong.

Bottled up emotions finally bursts!

11. It was quite dark and all I could see was silhouette of people going in both direction. Then someone called my name. It was my weekdays training buddy Piji. He was going the opposite direction when we came across each other. I responded but didn't stop because I was trying to sub 5 the marathon and everything. He turned around and I told him to run as fast as he could so I could pace him. He did plan to help me on the run but I never saw him until that moment. The exact moment when I felt like everything was about to fall apart. The moment where I was hanging by a thread. The moment that I will always remember for the rest of my life.

Couldn't think. It's all about getting that Sub 5 target.

 12. We were actually going on a 4:45/km pace and I thought it was a bit too fast but I thought, oh well, it was going to end soon anyway. So we ran, in the dark, guided by the dim lights on chennang road, with people shouting, urging me to keep going, clapping. About everyone we saw kept yelling to go even faster and it did felt like the fastest run I ever did during the entire marathon (Garmin showed it was). The last turn into Meritus, Piji yielded to make way for me to finish. I thanked him as he disappeared into the darkness. By this time, I heard music, I heard the announcer announcing someone as Ironman and I was pumped. Then the sight of the M dot carpet and people asking for high fives. I can't feel the lower part of my body but I was still moving forward. I took out my arms which had swung vigorously for the past 4 hours plus and gave everyone high fives and proceeded to clench my fist signalling I freaking got this. This 7 year journey was about to end soon. Somehow all that energy made me wanted to run even more until finally I heard "something, something ... YOU ARE AN IRONMAN"*. It was surreal. All my senses went haywire. Happy, ecstatic etc. I couldn't explain it.

We could buy our finishing photo from Fpix. Judging by this, thanks, but no thanks. LOL.

13. Looked down at my Garmin, press stopped and I did sub-5 the marathon. At the same time, my legs had enough and I almost buckled. I got my act together and hugged my dad. Got my medal, towels and a volunteer escorted and sort of briefed me about the post race facilities (ice batch, food etc.). I was half listening as I looked around and witness the joy of people finishing the race like I just did. They won. I won. We did it. It didn't quite sink in yet. My body was in survival mode so I could not really think or appreciate the magnitude of completing THE Ironman. I met a couple of friends, talked a bit and rushed to get my bike. My mum/dad/son hadn't eaten yet and I needed to get the bike before T2 closes since I got a 9 AM ferry to catch the next day. That was the longest race I had ever participated in. In terms of time and distance, it was really looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong!

14. I think I could finally sort of absorbed what had happened the night before on my way back to Kuala Perlis. I had somewhat rested and decided to get on the upper deck of the ferry as it started to move. The cool wind was blowing in my face as I sat on one of the benches. There were other athletes on board but most are just normal people. I really felt at peace. I have 1001 problems waiting for me, but that ferry ride back was not the time to think about them. It was one of those rare moment where everything was calm. No thought process whatsoever. I switched off. I was smiling the whole time as I watched the island of Langkawi moved away from me. I'm an Ironman. I then put my head on the bench and slept all the way to Kuala Perlis.

A dream was realized, and I wanted to dream again.


*My dad recalled that the announcer actually said "Mohd, you are an Ironman". People don't call me that but whatever. LOL.

That Was The Hardest, Mind Blowing, Quad Busting, Hamstring Tearing Race I've Ever Participated In. Lost for words. Time to rest. Thanks family and friends especially wifey @frh_hafd for your kind understanding and support. 13hr 36min 54sec (Garmin). #ironmantri #ironmantriathlon #TadonamoTriathletes #Tadonamo #mymajorevents #MME #MMExIronmanLangkawi #DATR #GarminMalaysia #RudyProjectMalaysiaBrunei #Lucozadesport #EPLUS #N8 #ProMMR #IronmanLangkawi #100%Mental

A photo posted by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on Nov 12, 2016 at 6:25am PST

Week 24: The End Is The Beginning

Summary of Week 24

It's been an eventful last 2 weeks with the passing of my grandfather and the birth of my 3rd child. I'll probably remember this Ironman race for all the time it has taken away from me, the guilt, the helpless feeling and the unproductive 4+ months I have ever been in my entire life spent thinking about this race. Maybe that'll change, but for now, that's what the Ironman is. I guess it is quite similar to life. The sport is about hope as much as it is about despair. Lets get this race done and over with. 4 days left to Ironman Langkawi. #immy2016 #ironmantri #ironmantriathlon

A photo posted by Hafdzuan (@hafdzuan) on Nov 7, 2016 at 7:10pm PST

Training Goal: Taper
Personal Goal: Stay Healthy
Distance Covered:36.08km
Duration: 2h59m
Elevation Gain: 337m
Overall Training Completion Rate (Actual Vs Planned):
46.6%

Swim Time:
1h47m
Swim Distance:
4.6km

Bike Time:
1h12m
Bike Distance:
31.48km
Elevation Gain:
337m
*For indoor bike - time measurement only
**Including brick

Run Time:
0m
Run Distance:
0km
Elevation Gain:
0m


Time Spent Doing Strength/Core/Stability Exercises:
0h
*Including rest/chit chat

Time Spent Stair Climbing (ascent):
0
Elevation Gain:
0
*Based on what was recorded

Unaccounted for
~ run drills
~ stair - descent

Training Notes for Week 24:

1) Went to Langkawi. Test route. Rest. Race.

Feeling Notes for Week 23:

1) The 1st day of my little girl's life on Monday 7/11/2016

Week 23: The End

Summary of Week 23

Training Goal: Taper
Personal Goal: Stay Healthy
Distance Covered:77.78km
Duration: 6h09m
Elevation Gain: 553m
Overall Training Completion Rate (Actual Vs Planned):
49.7%

Swim Time:
2h09m
Swim Distance:
4.6km

Bike Time:
1h56m
Bike Distance:
53.56km
Elevation Gain:
337m
*For indoor bike - time measurement only
**Including brick

Run Time:
1h53m
Run Distance:
19.62km
Elevation Gain:
147m
*Including brick

Time Spent Doing Strength/Core/Stability Exercises:
0h
*Including rest/chit chat

Time Spent Stair Climbing (ascent):
11m12s
Elevation Gain:
128m
*Based on what was recorded

Unaccounted for
~ run drills
~ stair - descent

Training Notes for Week 23:

1) Taper starts. Life issues. Just showed up to get some workout in.

Feeling Notes for Week 23:

1) The passing of my grandfather.