RECAP

30

Let's start with this:

The only time you really live fully is from thirty to sixty. The young are slaves to dreams; the old servants of regrets. Only the middle-aged have all their five senses in the keeping of their wits.
Hervey Allen

 So it goes without saying that i do somewhat have developed my senses. I owe it not to the increased number rather to the experiences i had especially last few years with my small unit as i love to call them, my loyal fan base, my family. Always there and will always will be there.

The rationale thing to do when you reach a certain milestone in your life is first to examine what you have accomplished. And to a certain extent i did do a lot but in terms of recognition or stuff that normal people gauge you by, not that much.

In terms of filling that hole i never knew existed, that definitely was fulfilled the day i got married. And few more things i did help me feel more alive than ever. and to have such good and great inspiring people around me at work, friends, team mates or wherever along the way was such a blessing.

Though lately i don't see them often or don;t converse like it was in the ol days. I do feel that i owe it to them for the experience.

playing basketball, being a drummer, triathlons, swims, bike run travelling doing all spontaneus stuff all come to my mind.

I did the half ironman couple of days ago and i think that was an accomplishment. not because of the medals, because of the trust i have that one day i will do it. I believe in the journey not the destination mantra. I believe in performance not result. Because the latter will get you that objective.

I was like that, i like taking times learning things, i love just waiting for trains at the ariport. I feel that it is during these time that you test yourself. You find yourself. Patient is one value that is so under rated these days.

Went back to posts going way back to 2007 and realized that, i did a lot, felt a lot of things, a lot of emotions and glad to have it in writing and now having the opportunity to read them again. I wrote lyrics, i posted something that in my age now seems it was done by a stranger.i really was impressed with this guy which is so alive and free.

example:

I think i posted for the semester around near new year time. i think.

My vision was restricted
to some natural beauty
where some took for granted
but at 7.30 am this morning
i'm glad i was there
i'm glad god let me share

the long straight road remind me
of little kids who are so pure
sparkling as mineral water
as naive as those who had passions
only to realize they're just reasons
to gain attention

as i was worrying if i'll ever get home
i sing some as a relief
i put faith first cause i believe
even when sometime faith,
is the thing i constantly leave

when the signboard reveal what i wanted to see
i screamed within
to me its like i win
even if i don't know what or who was the competition

maybe when you hope
and it drives you
to some known destination
you would like to think
that you win.

as for resolutions
that could wait some more
cause i can never be done for
resolutions from before

Is it because you have grown up and you forget that you genuinely had fun. I hope i'll blog more to keep tabs on all emotions and experience felt.

I want to feel that again. To just sit in front of the keyboard and make my milestones in life history.

This is to restart what i love doing in the first place. experiencing stuff and reflecting it later to guide me along the way and to remind myself not to be a corporate bastard in 20 years time!

now i know how jerry mcguire feel at the start of that movie.