The job is pretty great. Its like me repeating my industrial training except the pay is much much better.
But ... like i have expected its tiring. Oh well. If i do make the 3 months trial period i'm gonna create a saving account or some ASB shit or some sort for rainy or shiny days.
Maybe i'm still not used to post-work activities coz after work .... a few minutes on the couch would see me doze off. The arsenal-juve game is next week so .... i hope i can get the timing right for me to watch the game and at the same time avoid getting drowsy at work.
Sleep ... is again a luxury.
the work is allright except for some office politics. I hate that. everything is politics. there's also comments about that guy and this guy and the boss bla bla .... and its just hard being stuck listening to both side of the gang.
gotta find my football boots ... sony staffs.... like any other manufacturing company's staffs .... love to play football ... and .. i am so honoured to be invited for a friendly game ...
well ... all i know is... everything i do now must serve some sort of purpose. if i walk i should be going somewhere. if i do i must finish and get it right.
getting snub is also no fun ...
remember kids. anything worth doing should serve some purpose.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
its hard out here for a pimp
i got an offer from sony, bangi and i'm quiet happy because its quite near to where i live so .... fuel consumption won't be that big of a deal. and i was at parit raja on friday last week to complete my masters form. and i kinda have this unique problem which i am happy to have.
what if kuittho decided to enroll me? should i quit if everything is going well at sony? and if i'm there... could i then pursue my Masters degree? i was thinking in applying for a course relating to engineering but MBA seems quite the popular choice.
i won't know until that day comes ... and by then i have to know exactly what i'm gonna do.
anyway ... i was at sony for a medical checkup. they have an in house clinic. no surprise there. being in the factory reminded me of the 6 months i had in denso. i thought it was hell but now i regretted not to gain as much experience as i can. everything was similar. the canteen .. the people ... the guard .. well almost ... sony's quite big compared to denso ...
my health turned out ok and i'll start on the 16th of march. i'm glad they don't have strict dresscodes ... they offered a 3 month contract and they will assess wheter i'm qualified for the posisition or not. if not .. they'll terminate my contract......if i'm qualified, i'll be hired.
same ol story ... i gotta do things that will ultimately shape the course of my life. no surprise... it will come with a price and lotsa sacrifice. but hey .. isn't that what work is all about?
my belly ...gotta poop .. ouch ...
what if kuittho decided to enroll me? should i quit if everything is going well at sony? and if i'm there... could i then pursue my Masters degree? i was thinking in applying for a course relating to engineering but MBA seems quite the popular choice.
i won't know until that day comes ... and by then i have to know exactly what i'm gonna do.
anyway ... i was at sony for a medical checkup. they have an in house clinic. no surprise there. being in the factory reminded me of the 6 months i had in denso. i thought it was hell but now i regretted not to gain as much experience as i can. everything was similar. the canteen .. the people ... the guard .. well almost ... sony's quite big compared to denso ...
my health turned out ok and i'll start on the 16th of march. i'm glad they don't have strict dresscodes ... they offered a 3 month contract and they will assess wheter i'm qualified for the posisition or not. if not .. they'll terminate my contract......if i'm qualified, i'll be hired.
same ol story ... i gotta do things that will ultimately shape the course of my life. no surprise... it will come with a price and lotsa sacrifice. but hey .. isn't that what work is all about?
my belly ...gotta poop .. ouch ...
Monday, March 13, 2006
ARSENAL.COM
arsenal progress to the next round of the champ league and they also manage to beat liverpool 2 -1 today. things are going okay for them. the champ league quarter final is out and arsenal is going to take on juventus. we will welcome patrick viera but i'm sure the fans wants to see viera leave with just a standing ovation after the game.
its good. the defence is starting to pick up. thierry henry is in top form. the midfield is clicking. they're hustling for the ball. its going fine. i think arsenal will get that 4th spot and maybe 3rd or 2nd .. who knows. chelsea is already the chamipon.
its good. the defence is starting to pick up. thierry henry is in top form. the midfield is clicking. they're hustling for the ball. its going fine. i think arsenal will get that 4th spot and maybe 3rd or 2nd .. who knows. chelsea is already the chamipon.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
where the poltergeist play their video game
i like to see some changes in the education system. Why can't they spend all those taxpayers money on improving the education system? why does government buildings are air-conditioned while classrooms are still with crappy fans and facilities? what about the saying women and children first? if there was a fire u'd rescue women and children first won't you? and i see these children in their classes hot and tired. And the books ... damn ... how can they learn? no wonder they have to put the standard so low.
the teachers? is it about the money? or is it about educationg and getting the best out of these students. Exploring their potentials and leading them to where they're suppose to end up? where do they suppose to end up?
everything has standards. especially a system that is design to produce high quality goods. but the bar is set so low and even so ... we still can't exploit it.
where do the money go? i won't go into politics. i don't know anything about the govt and how they distribute the funding to each ministry. but to me ... when i was in school its crappy and it still is. and i don't think its suppose to be that crappy. the funding should be for education first and foremost. well its easy for me to say if we neglect the economy and shit. but i think malaysia is stabil enough to spend some on education. we can build tall building and fancy bridges. for sure we can install air-conditioning and improve the facilities.
all i'm saying is... changes like the books and the syllybus and the facilites matters .... to produce a learning environment that would suit kids. kids should go to school and have fun. they should anticipate about going to school. and air-conditioning in school isn't such a bad idea.
i say put the kids first. We don't needthings like fancy lightings at putrajaya or anything superficial to show how modern we are. all we need is a system that produce. All we need is for someone to take action. but i don't see that happening anytime soon. put yourself in the kids shoes. would you be interested to go to school if you are wearing nylon on a hot day listening to someone you don't care teaching about some stuff that you also don't care. I think its a teachers job to make sure the kids should care first. then provide the tools for them to succeed.
and as far as politics in education is concerned you politician can go to fucking hell because if you don't care don't pretend to. you fucking graduates who only cares about status and power can shove it up your ass cause the percentage of children in school excited about learning is small and those percentages of children are either forced by their parents to study or they're special. But you fucking polititcian wouldn't know. you're busy making stuff up for the press. busy at work trying to get promoted. you should be busy caring.
politics in malaysia is a circus. and they are dragging us to support them.
the teachers? is it about the money? or is it about educationg and getting the best out of these students. Exploring their potentials and leading them to where they're suppose to end up? where do they suppose to end up?
everything has standards. especially a system that is design to produce high quality goods. but the bar is set so low and even so ... we still can't exploit it.
where do the money go? i won't go into politics. i don't know anything about the govt and how they distribute the funding to each ministry. but to me ... when i was in school its crappy and it still is. and i don't think its suppose to be that crappy. the funding should be for education first and foremost. well its easy for me to say if we neglect the economy and shit. but i think malaysia is stabil enough to spend some on education. we can build tall building and fancy bridges. for sure we can install air-conditioning and improve the facilities.
all i'm saying is... changes like the books and the syllybus and the facilites matters .... to produce a learning environment that would suit kids. kids should go to school and have fun. they should anticipate about going to school. and air-conditioning in school isn't such a bad idea.
i say put the kids first. We don't needthings like fancy lightings at putrajaya or anything superficial to show how modern we are. all we need is a system that produce. All we need is for someone to take action. but i don't see that happening anytime soon. put yourself in the kids shoes. would you be interested to go to school if you are wearing nylon on a hot day listening to someone you don't care teaching about some stuff that you also don't care. I think its a teachers job to make sure the kids should care first. then provide the tools for them to succeed.
and as far as politics in education is concerned you politician can go to fucking hell because if you don't care don't pretend to. you fucking graduates who only cares about status and power can shove it up your ass cause the percentage of children in school excited about learning is small and those percentages of children are either forced by their parents to study or they're special. But you fucking polititcian wouldn't know. you're busy making stuff up for the press. busy at work trying to get promoted. you should be busy caring.
politics in malaysia is a circus. and they are dragging us to support them.
product of a fail education system
an open letter condemning universities / government policies on students and their approach on learning.
or
visit ricecooker for the article / letter.
or
visit ricecooker for the article / letter.
Friday, March 10, 2006
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
in identity we recognize
gradually, i will jog non-stop for 1 hour flat. the small achievements in life keeps people going. it keeps me going. If i don't set out to do something then there is no point living is there? but in this case, running too much will probably see me flat out dead. running gets me high a lil.
i saw once on oprah there are these teenagers who would suffocate themselves to the point of almost blacking out and they'll get some sort of natural high coz of the insufficient supply of oxygen to the brain. There are even how to's on the net that shows exactly how to do it. its pretty sad when you have to do something that suicidal to get high.
and sony called and they set up an interview with the iq test and shit. i'm no einstein. i think i have an average iq. i can't do math operations in my head that good. if there are lotsa numbers i'd have to take time counting them with the assist of my fingers. counting is hard. i hate remembering stuff. little stuff. i can't even remember people's phone numbers or birthdays. my short term memory isn't really a memory farm.
oh well. maybe the other interview won't be that harsh on me. the company just happened to be behind my house which is logistically good. the fuel prices has gone up and having a close workplace is a good way to save up money. if i get hired that is.
the surprise of the academy was crash winning the best motion picture. i thought it'd be brokeback mountain. ang lee was awarded the oscar for best director. good for him. his mom and dad was proud of him. taiwan, china and hong kong was proud of him. it's great seeing an asian winning an oscar especially for best director.
four brothers was a fun movie. andre benjamin aka andre 3000 is one hell of an actor i tell ya. now i gotta watch brokeback and crash and delete them so i can free up space for seinfeld season 6.
i saw once on oprah there are these teenagers who would suffocate themselves to the point of almost blacking out and they'll get some sort of natural high coz of the insufficient supply of oxygen to the brain. There are even how to's on the net that shows exactly how to do it. its pretty sad when you have to do something that suicidal to get high.
and sony called and they set up an interview with the iq test and shit. i'm no einstein. i think i have an average iq. i can't do math operations in my head that good. if there are lotsa numbers i'd have to take time counting them with the assist of my fingers. counting is hard. i hate remembering stuff. little stuff. i can't even remember people's phone numbers or birthdays. my short term memory isn't really a memory farm.
oh well. maybe the other interview won't be that harsh on me. the company just happened to be behind my house which is logistically good. the fuel prices has gone up and having a close workplace is a good way to save up money. if i get hired that is.
the surprise of the academy was crash winning the best motion picture. i thought it'd be brokeback mountain. ang lee was awarded the oscar for best director. good for him. his mom and dad was proud of him. taiwan, china and hong kong was proud of him. it's great seeing an asian winning an oscar especially for best director.
four brothers was a fun movie. andre benjamin aka andre 3000 is one hell of an actor i tell ya. now i gotta watch brokeback and crash and delete them so i can free up space for seinfeld season 6.
Friday, March 03, 2006
I am now trying to watch all the nominated movie for the oscar or is it emmy award. So far i manage to watch walk the line. I've downloaded crash and brokeback mountain. And there's also four brothers which seems really interesting.
Walk the line is an autobiographical movie about johny cash. I've seen many autobiography rock star movies like jimi hendrix, jerry lee lewis and that la bamba fella. Oh wait. That's only 3 movie. Anyway, they have one thing in common which is drugs. They have to get high. They have too. Its a rock star cliche.
joaquin phoenix and reese witherspoon really got into their role. Joaquin phoenix who was in the village was really convincing acting as a depressed singer trying to prove something to the world and people around him while reese's character june carter was a woman who went through a lot of divorces and u know .... likes to sing. The sondtrack is really good and the emotional roller coaster that the characters went through was also good. And it has a happy ending. They died due to natural causes after 35 years of happilly married and numerous achievments in their music careers. Not overdosed or plane crash or murder or something.
What's all the fuss with brokeback mountain? ITs a gay cowboy movie. I have to see this. it stars the dude in jarhead forgot his name...jake something and heath leadger. Gay cowboy. Who would've thought gay cowboy as a theme for a movie? The hollywood movie industry is now making movies which relate to certain issues in USA. And boy do they sell. Crash for example is about paranoid prejudice thinking that's in all of us. Some communication shit that we can't control. IT is said the movie provide real life issues but no real solution or moral to the story. That has got to be a deep movie.
Go download/ Thank you BitComet.
Walk the line is an autobiographical movie about johny cash. I've seen many autobiography rock star movies like jimi hendrix, jerry lee lewis and that la bamba fella. Oh wait. That's only 3 movie. Anyway, they have one thing in common which is drugs. They have to get high. They have too. Its a rock star cliche.
joaquin phoenix and reese witherspoon really got into their role. Joaquin phoenix who was in the village was really convincing acting as a depressed singer trying to prove something to the world and people around him while reese's character june carter was a woman who went through a lot of divorces and u know .... likes to sing. The sondtrack is really good and the emotional roller coaster that the characters went through was also good. And it has a happy ending. They died due to natural causes after 35 years of happilly married and numerous achievments in their music careers. Not overdosed or plane crash or murder or something.
What's all the fuss with brokeback mountain? ITs a gay cowboy movie. I have to see this. it stars the dude in jarhead forgot his name...jake something and heath leadger. Gay cowboy. Who would've thought gay cowboy as a theme for a movie? The hollywood movie industry is now making movies which relate to certain issues in USA. And boy do they sell. Crash for example is about paranoid prejudice thinking that's in all of us. Some communication shit that we can't control. IT is said the movie provide real life issues but no real solution or moral to the story. That has got to be a deep movie.
Go download/ Thank you BitComet.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
i'm a fucking sheep
4 Jobs :
1- KFC SLAVE
2- HOTEL SLAVE
3- DENSO SLAVE
4-
4 Movies that i like:
1- Before sunrise / before sunset
2- Jarhead
3- Shawshank Redemption
4- City of God
4 Places I've lived :
1- Sri Serdang Selangor
2- BBU Johor Bahru
3- Parit Raja Batuh Pahat
4- Columbia, Missouri
4 Favourite TV Series :
1- Curb your enthusiasm
2- Seinfeld
3- Desperate housewives
4- ESPN's sportcenter
4 Places I've Been On Vacation :
1- Niagara Falls
2- Pulau Perhentian
3- Pulau Tioman
4- The Grand Canyon
The 4 blogs I visit daily :
1- farah's if updated
2- nizam nuri's - for daily updates
3- min, arip, erin, nizam owh, poza everyone who updates theirs!
4- dunno
4 of my Favourite foods :
1- Nasik kerabu
2- Nasik beriyani
3- Char keaw tiaw
4- mamee
4 Places I'd rather be :
1- remote island
2- behind a drumset
3- on abasketball court
4- on a football field
4 albums i can't live w/o :
1- Norah jones - 1st album
2- weezer's
3- explosion in the sky
4- YMT
4 vehicles i owned/own :
1- BMX bike
2- Mountain bike
3- EX5
4- 125Z
please carry on these virus ok! You've been TAG!!!
1- KFC SLAVE
2- HOTEL SLAVE
3- DENSO SLAVE
4-
4 Movies that i like:
1- Before sunrise / before sunset
2- Jarhead
3- Shawshank Redemption
4- City of God
4 Places I've lived :
1- Sri Serdang Selangor
2- BBU Johor Bahru
3- Parit Raja Batuh Pahat
4- Columbia, Missouri
4 Favourite TV Series :
1- Curb your enthusiasm
2- Seinfeld
3- Desperate housewives
4- ESPN's sportcenter
4 Places I've Been On Vacation :
1- Niagara Falls
2- Pulau Perhentian
3- Pulau Tioman
4- The Grand Canyon
The 4 blogs I visit daily :
1- farah's if updated
2- nizam nuri's - for daily updates
3- min, arip, erin, nizam owh, poza everyone who updates theirs!
4- dunno
4 of my Favourite foods :
1- Nasik kerabu
2- Nasik beriyani
3- Char keaw tiaw
4- mamee
4 Places I'd rather be :
1- remote island
2- behind a drumset
3- on abasketball court
4- on a football field
4 albums i can't live w/o :
1- Norah jones - 1st album
2- weezer's
3- explosion in the sky
4- YMT
4 vehicles i owned/own :
1- BMX bike
2- Mountain bike
3- EX5
4- 125Z
please carry on these virus ok! You've been TAG!!!
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Sunday, February 26, 2006
pangkah di muka dan triple x
ARSENAL is on the verge of a collapsing. What the fuck? Another defeat away from home meant that arsenal dropped to 6th. The rovers overtook arsenal and i am personally doubting arsenal capability to get any sileverware and a spot for the champ league. but i've been wrong so many times in my life so ... i hope this time i'm wrong.
The basketball league is starting next week. And i;ve heard rumors ....well ....its a confirmed rumors..... that a lot of good non-chinese players are playing. And ummm ... who gives a fuck... i'm just gonna play. I hate thinking too much about stuff. If i set out to do a thing ... i'd just do it.
it's gonna be fun.
today ... i've watched a collection of movies burned by nizam owh for arip. And there is this bakar api movie ... and it's like a cheap porno movie with good lines. I am really amazed by the actors coz some secene are believable. And the cast was believable. It's so provoking and i wonder if it is suitable for malaysians. I mean .. we're so sensitive about this sex drugs transsex things coz we thought it might hurt the community but the fact is .... the community is already hurt. The movie was meant to educate and i think it's a good channel to do so. hey who am i to tell what to do. Let's just put up banners and posters and shit and debate about it in the parliment. see if that would help stop the spreading of HIV and shit.
The free condoms and needles i think would really suit the hookers and addicts but .... i think the community really need to be educated about HIV and drugs and shit. I mean at school. These stuff should be in the curriculum or something. Maybe its already in the cocuriculum. I dunno.
how bout the flood huh? There was this scene on the news showing cars submerged in the water. that was saddening to watch. The flood was up to chest height. That is dangerous. It rained for only 3 hours and i never thought there would be flooding anywhere. I guess this is what they mean by flash flood. Hope they'll recover.
lord of war.... i dunno what its about but i downloaded it anyway. hope its good.
there are a lot of problems in this world. personally..... i have bigger problems then HIV and floods. my jump shot is really out of order and my 1 on 1 defense is really fucked up. oh yeah .. i am still unemployed.
ah shit. .
Friday, February 24, 2006
penyerapan budaya dan sikap
my back aches. yesterday i was rebounding the basketball and suddenly i pulled a back muscle. I think its the muscle. They say that if you sprained your back it almost always relate to the back bone. i think its the muscle supporting the back bone. If something happened to my back bone my body would surely collapsed and i would be in a terrible pain right now. an injury to the back bone is fucking serious i tell you. mine is just some minor thing. some fort minor injury. wtf?
but the pain has subsided a bit today so maybe i'm gonna shoot some basket today. maybe be a little less competetive and to stretch before playing.
anyway. it hurts and it sucks.
but the pain has subsided a bit today so maybe i'm gonna shoot some basket today. maybe be a little less competetive and to stretch before playing.
anyway. it hurts and it sucks.
kegembiraan di hadapan TV
it was a great week for football fans around the world. The champ league resumes with 2 giants from england faces 2 giants from spain.
me as an arsenal fan was rooting for arsenal of course. And not many believed arsenal could win at the bernebeu. But win they did. So there!
real madrid was slumping anyway. i dunno wheter it was their tactics or their lack of self belief or they're just purely over confident that they could murder arsenal but they sure looks like sunderland in disguise.
the 2nd leg will be played at highbury so .. arsenal must prepare for a real madrid backlash.
the day after .... barca was playing chelsea. and its even better. del horny was sent off. barca felt the red was justified but chelsea think otherwise.
oh well. the 10 men chelsea just couldn't cope with the likes of deco, rondaldinho, etoo and especiall lionel messi who on his own dribbles and pass and just cause havoc in the chelsea defence. SO there!
i thought mourinho would humble a bit but ... u know ... he got his reasons for losing. he always does.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
fun with dick and jane: see a dick run
i am into the 4th season of seinfeld. once you start you can't stop. and its no mystery co-producer larry david is a comedic maestro. he can make insignificant details and small issues in life.. funny and amusing. all comedians uses stuff from real life. that's how we relate with comedy. it's how we digest it. if not .. we wouldn't get the joke or the puch line. combine larry david and funny man jerry seinfeld .. you have the best sitcoms ever. another show i've mentioned before is curb your enthusiasm which is a larry david's show. he plays himself who in the show go around town and jsut doing what a person would do but in larry's case everything would turn into a disaster. funny.
and during the weekend farah came and we watched fun with dick and jane which i rate 3 outta 5. before that..we were at midvalley to meet up with our employed buddies that we haven't seen for months now. and we bowled. i'm no good at bowling coz bowling is a mental sport ... like snooker. u don';t have to be a super athelete and u know... have diets and do weights or sprints to bowl. u can be a fat chump and still bowl great. all you have to do is have this focus and train to get a strike. sounds easy. haha.. but in sport the hardest thing is getting psyched and focus.like sport...... focusing in life is also really .... really hard.
if i were to focus on my dreams i would've became something else. but that would mean me making a decision when i was still in primary school. and start focusing then. that's why parents made the decisions for us. coz when we were kids we make decisions based on nothing. i am suggesting parents to ask their children what they want to be when they grow up. And once they figured it out you would hand them the classifieds and show them the requirement needed for the job. and one more thing ... mention the salary of the job they wanted.
so if the kid wanted to become Gaban. you would go ... gaban doesn't exist and even if he did he wasn't paid kicking bad guys asses. if he wanted to be a doctor... then .. you'd say to be a doctor you need to be in a science class and score perfect A's and go into 5 years of university bla bla bla and you would get paid .. bla bla bla $$$$. and all the kid have to do is just follow his dream.
when i was a kid i wanted to be a doctor because i thought being a professional is a way of life and doctor didn't happen. i thought it would be so cool having your own medical tools and the robes u know... looking all smart and shit. and then i wanted to be a pilot coz i think flying and traveling is so cool but that's out of the picture. along the way ..... ...my focus is blurred a little bit. i was focusing on some stupid teenage stuff like porn and shits and suddenly being a doctor is out coz i suck at biology and pilot ? ... i only got my driving license aged 24 ... flying a plane ? and the sad part was .. i never even once hate myself for not getting what i want. hmmmm .. so i have to stick with what i have. and that's not much. if only i was to focus on one thing and put some effort into it.
but to be what you want you have to have a 100% pure intention in doing what you want because if not .. it won't work out. you have to be focused all the time. endure years of other things that might get in your way. but like arip always said ...that's adiabatic. pure is 100% and nothing is 100%.
now i'm just a bum with a 2nd lower degree with nothing to offer to those close to me let alone malaysia or the world. finally i know what and who i want to be .. but it's too late. soul searching shouldn't take this long. but i ain't giving up yet. i'll make the most out of what i have with and see how it goes. and maybe someday i'd get what matters most which is probably being happy with what i have and feel bliss like the day when i stood up in class and said i wanted to be a doctor.
and during the weekend farah came and we watched fun with dick and jane which i rate 3 outta 5. before that..we were at midvalley to meet up with our employed buddies that we haven't seen for months now. and we bowled. i'm no good at bowling coz bowling is a mental sport ... like snooker. u don';t have to be a super athelete and u know... have diets and do weights or sprints to bowl. u can be a fat chump and still bowl great. all you have to do is have this focus and train to get a strike. sounds easy. haha.. but in sport the hardest thing is getting psyched and focus.like sport...... focusing in life is also really .... really hard.
if i were to focus on my dreams i would've became something else. but that would mean me making a decision when i was still in primary school. and start focusing then. that's why parents made the decisions for us. coz when we were kids we make decisions based on nothing. i am suggesting parents to ask their children what they want to be when they grow up. And once they figured it out you would hand them the classifieds and show them the requirement needed for the job. and one more thing ... mention the salary of the job they wanted.
so if the kid wanted to become Gaban. you would go ... gaban doesn't exist and even if he did he wasn't paid kicking bad guys asses. if he wanted to be a doctor... then .. you'd say to be a doctor you need to be in a science class and score perfect A's and go into 5 years of university bla bla bla and you would get paid .. bla bla bla $$$$. and all the kid have to do is just follow his dream.
when i was a kid i wanted to be a doctor because i thought being a professional is a way of life and doctor didn't happen. i thought it would be so cool having your own medical tools and the robes u know... looking all smart and shit. and then i wanted to be a pilot coz i think flying and traveling is so cool but that's out of the picture. along the way ..... ...my focus is blurred a little bit. i was focusing on some stupid teenage stuff like porn and shits and suddenly being a doctor is out coz i suck at biology and pilot ? ... i only got my driving license aged 24 ... flying a plane ? and the sad part was .. i never even once hate myself for not getting what i want. hmmmm .. so i have to stick with what i have. and that's not much. if only i was to focus on one thing and put some effort into it.
but to be what you want you have to have a 100% pure intention in doing what you want because if not .. it won't work out. you have to be focused all the time. endure years of other things that might get in your way. but like arip always said ...that's adiabatic. pure is 100% and nothing is 100%.
now i'm just a bum with a 2nd lower degree with nothing to offer to those close to me let alone malaysia or the world. finally i know what and who i want to be .. but it's too late. soul searching shouldn't take this long. but i ain't giving up yet. i'll make the most out of what i have with and see how it goes. and maybe someday i'd get what matters most which is probably being happy with what i have and feel bliss like the day when i stood up in class and said i wanted to be a doctor.
still no update on the job interview. to be honest, i was hoping. i'm optimistic but if it didn't turn out for me then what am i suppose to do?
[those who don't care about basketball may ignore this paragraph]. the 55th all-star weekend was great tho. the sprite slam dunk contest was sooo cool. the NBA director wanted to cancel the slam dunk event coz the contest seems to lost its flair but this year its a contest again. the dunk was unbelievable. this dude from the 6ers did this dunk from behind the backboard with help from allen iverson. Allen iverson threw the ball to the backside of the glass and while in mid-air the dunker catches it and dunks the ball. it was basically a dunk from the backboard, the guy practically dodges his head so it wouldn't hit the underside of the glass. In fact, he did hit his eyebrows during his first attempt. In the end, the winner was nate from the knicks who jumps over spud web. the ironic thing was spud and nate was almost the same height (5ft 8 in something) and spud also won the dunk contest in 1986. the senior all-star game was allright. nothing that fancy it was ok. In my opinion...last year's game was better.
[those who don't wanna know about football, ignore] enough basketball.. champ league is taking place this week. Arsenal will be taking on real madrid while chelsea will be hosting barca. I bet it's a busy week for the bookies. anyway, me and arsenal fans around the world would hope arsenal would win. being optimistic i would say arsenal can win. being realistic however i would say a draw the very least. Real madrid has been impressive in their last few games. and their firepower up front is world class. Arsenal on the other hand have this patch-up defense with goal shy strikers and ageing midfielders. key players are injured especially the full back position.adebayor the arsenal new signing is cup tied and reyes has a small chance of playing. henry is moving. i don;t think arsenal can match his sporting ambitions. maybe not this season. but who knows...the new stadium might lure him into staying plus the new deal i hear is quite lucrative. between barca and chelsea ... i hope the best team wins. i respect both teams. they have good players and a good coach and i'm sure it will be tight. my prediction - ARsenal 1 - r. madrid 0 and chelsea 1- barca 1. I just think that chelsea's defence is shaky now and barca scores almost every game they've played.
[those who don't care about basketball may ignore this paragraph]. the 55th all-star weekend was great tho. the sprite slam dunk contest was sooo cool. the NBA director wanted to cancel the slam dunk event coz the contest seems to lost its flair but this year its a contest again. the dunk was unbelievable. this dude from the 6ers did this dunk from behind the backboard with help from allen iverson. Allen iverson threw the ball to the backside of the glass and while in mid-air the dunker catches it and dunks the ball. it was basically a dunk from the backboard, the guy practically dodges his head so it wouldn't hit the underside of the glass. In fact, he did hit his eyebrows during his first attempt. In the end, the winner was nate from the knicks who jumps over spud web. the ironic thing was spud and nate was almost the same height (5ft 8 in something) and spud also won the dunk contest in 1986. the senior all-star game was allright. nothing that fancy it was ok. In my opinion...last year's game was better.
[those who don't wanna know about football, ignore] enough basketball.. champ league is taking place this week. Arsenal will be taking on real madrid while chelsea will be hosting barca. I bet it's a busy week for the bookies. anyway, me and arsenal fans around the world would hope arsenal would win. being optimistic i would say arsenal can win. being realistic however i would say a draw the very least. Real madrid has been impressive in their last few games. and their firepower up front is world class. Arsenal on the other hand have this patch-up defense with goal shy strikers and ageing midfielders. key players are injured especially the full back position.adebayor the arsenal new signing is cup tied and reyes has a small chance of playing. henry is moving. i don;t think arsenal can match his sporting ambitions. maybe not this season. but who knows...the new stadium might lure him into staying plus the new deal i hear is quite lucrative. between barca and chelsea ... i hope the best team wins. i respect both teams. they have good players and a good coach and i'm sure it will be tight. my prediction - ARsenal 1 - r. madrid 0 and chelsea 1- barca 1. I just think that chelsea's defence is shaky now and barca scores almost every game they've played.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
valentino
Its the 14th of february and its that time of year again where people around the world celebrates valentine's day. It's a day to embrace love and the death of St. Valentine who is the saint of love, the hero that saved us from being cold and loveless and dead. The earth is not a dead cold place thanks to mr valentine.
Hahaha, even if its true (which i don't care) i don' t think we need valentine's day. I have had enough of love being commercialized. The world revolves around love. Its stronger than anything. bla bla bla. Its so bogus. We have love stories and bands playing love songs, love books, couples everywhere, flowers , heart shaped everything and etc ... so why do we need a day to remind us about love .... its pathetic and depressing.
You know what we need? We need valentine's day ...everyday ....because the world is filled with people who is full of hate, loveless and is war stricken with weirdos and pedhophiles parading around. Murderers and child abusers, butchers looking for girl's meat and rapist and they really need days where they can't take a break and say" today is a day to embrace love, we'll stop and continue later when i'm full of hate again"
Okay some may agree to disagree but it is just one day where couples send at least a SMS saying i love u bla bla happy valentine day .... But isn't that what you do everyday? except attaching the valentine's day sentence in the message?
And if you're single .. isn't love what you are looking for ? Isn';t everyday is a day full of love. Love is everywhere. Today you will celebrate valentine's day and a few days/months later you'd break up. Where is St. Valentine's now? How about if i make up a new event on the calendar? Hafdzuan's break up day? 15th of february? Where couples who really is sick of eachother can say everything that they loath and kept to themselves for so long. And break up? Owh that's genius. But if their love is strong enough they won't break up and eventually learn from each other's flaws and learn to accept their partners as who they are and not who they want them to be. Anyone can make up something up. Everyone can put something on their calendar like birthdays etc. but to be honest, i don;t give a fuck about some dead saint telling me when to embrace love.
And yesterday..i assume ... some religious organization were passing out these flyers containing infos on valentine's day and why should you not celebrate it. Some of the stuff that they put in are interesting facts but some are just crap. DOes hotels and condoms go on sale and have 50% discounts during valentines day? where do they got the idea that people will have sex on valentines day. Is it part of the celebration? you give flowers and candy and go out to dinner and have sex. what the? It was a good attempt and i really admire their ambition to help curb down pre-marraige sex but the approach .. boy ,... it's a joke ... literally a joke.
So go call your partner and give them flowers, chocolate and candy and tell them how you love them sincerely ..and do it not because some dead priest told you so ...
Hahaha, even if its true (which i don't care) i don' t think we need valentine's day. I have had enough of love being commercialized. The world revolves around love. Its stronger than anything. bla bla bla. Its so bogus. We have love stories and bands playing love songs, love books, couples everywhere, flowers , heart shaped everything and etc ... so why do we need a day to remind us about love .... its pathetic and depressing.
You know what we need? We need valentine's day ...everyday ....because the world is filled with people who is full of hate, loveless and is war stricken with weirdos and pedhophiles parading around. Murderers and child abusers, butchers looking for girl's meat and rapist and they really need days where they can't take a break and say" today is a day to embrace love, we'll stop and continue later when i'm full of hate again"
Okay some may agree to disagree but it is just one day where couples send at least a SMS saying i love u bla bla happy valentine day .... But isn't that what you do everyday? except attaching the valentine's day sentence in the message?
And if you're single .. isn't love what you are looking for ? Isn';t everyday is a day full of love. Love is everywhere. Today you will celebrate valentine's day and a few days/months later you'd break up. Where is St. Valentine's now? How about if i make up a new event on the calendar? Hafdzuan's break up day? 15th of february? Where couples who really is sick of eachother can say everything that they loath and kept to themselves for so long. And break up? Owh that's genius. But if their love is strong enough they won't break up and eventually learn from each other's flaws and learn to accept their partners as who they are and not who they want them to be. Anyone can make up something up. Everyone can put something on their calendar like birthdays etc. but to be honest, i don;t give a fuck about some dead saint telling me when to embrace love.
And yesterday..i assume ... some religious organization were passing out these flyers containing infos on valentine's day and why should you not celebrate it. Some of the stuff that they put in are interesting facts but some are just crap. DOes hotels and condoms go on sale and have 50% discounts during valentines day? where do they got the idea that people will have sex on valentines day. Is it part of the celebration? you give flowers and candy and go out to dinner and have sex. what the? It was a good attempt and i really admire their ambition to help curb down pre-marraige sex but the approach .. boy ,... it's a joke ... literally a joke.
So go call your partner and give them flowers, chocolate and candy and tell them how you love them sincerely ..and do it not because some dead priest told you so ...
Friday, February 10, 2006
f r e e d o m
I was surfin and i stumbled upon a site called shoutwire.com or something. it's a forum site and the hot topic was the prhopet's cartoon. So as curious as a cat, i click on to see what's up.
And just as i thought there was this denmark dude sending out hate vibe through his posts. And like many ignorant person the posts were based solely on facts from CNN, Fox news and personal opinions. And I scrolled down and finally someone stood up for the muslims. And of course a clash of opinions almost always resulted in an argument.
So the posts were getting more intense with the word mullah and quran started popping out ... then ... the "f" word .. his mom sucking who's dads penis? and before i knowit... it turned into a schoolboy debate. Oh well .... so much for an intelectual debate.... but a bottom line has to be made. The final say. The last word. So they started dishing out facts and verses from the quran ... and facts from i dunno where ... history and shit ... and it became interesting ...if someone is going to win this debate they'll need proof and facts and that exactly what they did....ITs now the muslims versus the world...........
And there were a few views and facts from the qafir that would make a muslim like me choke without answer. And that alone scares me, and made me realize how lucky we muslims are living as the majority and not the minority. In other country people would come up to you and call u a terrorist for having a muslim name. Taunt at your religion and justify their action claiming its free speech. Make fun of your culture and your way of life. And it is hard to defend and stand your ground when your knowledge is limited. ARe you gonna stand and just take the punishment? Or are you gonna stand up and be counted? Stand by the principal... the backbone of your life ... the reason why you live... these days ... freedom fighters need more than just molotov cocktails, bombs, the spirit and AK-47 to gain freedom.
And believe me ..muslims isn't the one that needed liberation. CNN for example is biased in their report. And people feed off these reports and accept them as facts. This is really what's wrong here. The people who believe in CNN and some other biased form of media should open thier eyes and FREE their mind. These people need the liberation of the mind. That's what we should be fighting for. Its more psychology then we think.
The denmark guy exactly got that. He finally ran out of CNN facts and the muslim from egypt calmly and as cool as winter dish out facts and intelectual arguments that made people who debate as a way to vent out anger .....looks dumb.
But i can never see that happening when questions like "if islam is a peaceful religion then why is there bombings and terrorist acts everywhere?" keeps popping up.
It is mind boggling. Its conflicting. How can u associate peace with bombs and suicide. Islam don';t allow all of that. Terrorism are just cowardly ACTS of terror to provoke fear and force a solution. The consequences of these acts is far more devastating then what u see on tv. WTC 9-11. Yep its devastating. Yep its a statement from someone who is desperate for a solution. But what happen next? The muslims are potrayed as the villains by the media? Is there anyone to blame is them terrorists. They provided the chance and the media took that chance and they did quite well putting ideas into people heads about islam. And suddenly the world got this generalized idea about islam. Muslims are call uptight, sensitive etc.
The idea of terrorism should be kicked out before one even think about fighting for freedom. Terrorism is never an option. Freedom starts from the mind. Revolution starts from the mind. And the mind controls everything.
And just as i thought there was this denmark dude sending out hate vibe through his posts. And like many ignorant person the posts were based solely on facts from CNN, Fox news and personal opinions. And I scrolled down and finally someone stood up for the muslims. And of course a clash of opinions almost always resulted in an argument.
So the posts were getting more intense with the word mullah and quran started popping out ... then ... the "f" word .. his mom sucking who's dads penis? and before i knowit... it turned into a schoolboy debate. Oh well .... so much for an intelectual debate.... but a bottom line has to be made. The final say. The last word. So they started dishing out facts and verses from the quran ... and facts from i dunno where ... history and shit ... and it became interesting ...if someone is going to win this debate they'll need proof and facts and that exactly what they did....ITs now the muslims versus the world...........
And there were a few views and facts from the qafir that would make a muslim like me choke without answer. And that alone scares me, and made me realize how lucky we muslims are living as the majority and not the minority. In other country people would come up to you and call u a terrorist for having a muslim name. Taunt at your religion and justify their action claiming its free speech. Make fun of your culture and your way of life. And it is hard to defend and stand your ground when your knowledge is limited. ARe you gonna stand and just take the punishment? Or are you gonna stand up and be counted? Stand by the principal... the backbone of your life ... the reason why you live... these days ... freedom fighters need more than just molotov cocktails, bombs, the spirit and AK-47 to gain freedom.
And believe me ..muslims isn't the one that needed liberation. CNN for example is biased in their report. And people feed off these reports and accept them as facts. This is really what's wrong here. The people who believe in CNN and some other biased form of media should open thier eyes and FREE their mind. These people need the liberation of the mind. That's what we should be fighting for. Its more psychology then we think.
The denmark guy exactly got that. He finally ran out of CNN facts and the muslim from egypt calmly and as cool as winter dish out facts and intelectual arguments that made people who debate as a way to vent out anger .....looks dumb.
But i can never see that happening when questions like "if islam is a peaceful religion then why is there bombings and terrorist acts everywhere?" keeps popping up.
It is mind boggling. Its conflicting. How can u associate peace with bombs and suicide. Islam don';t allow all of that. Terrorism are just cowardly ACTS of terror to provoke fear and force a solution. The consequences of these acts is far more devastating then what u see on tv. WTC 9-11. Yep its devastating. Yep its a statement from someone who is desperate for a solution. But what happen next? The muslims are potrayed as the villains by the media? Is there anyone to blame is them terrorists. They provided the chance and the media took that chance and they did quite well putting ideas into people heads about islam. And suddenly the world got this generalized idea about islam. Muslims are call uptight, sensitive etc.
The idea of terrorism should be kicked out before one even think about fighting for freedom. Terrorism is never an option. Freedom starts from the mind. Revolution starts from the mind. And the mind controls everything.
Yesterday I went outside
With my momma's mason jar
Caught a lovely Butterfly
When I woke up today
Looked in on my fairy pet
She had withered all away
No more sighing in her breast
I'm sorry for what I did
I did what my body told me to
I didn't mean to do you harm
Everytime I pin down what I think I want
It slips away - the ghost slips away
I smell you on my hand for days
I can't wash away your scent
If I'm a dog then you're a bitch
I guess you're as real as me
Maybe I can live with that
Maybe I need fantasies
A life of chasing butterfly
I'm sorry for what I did
I did what my body told me to
I didn't mean to do you harm
Everytime I pin down what I think I want
It slips away - the ghost slips away
I told you I would return
When the robin makes his nest
But I ain't never coming back
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
With my momma's mason jar
Caught a lovely Butterfly
When I woke up today
Looked in on my fairy pet
She had withered all away
No more sighing in her breast
I'm sorry for what I did
I did what my body told me to
I didn't mean to do you harm
Everytime I pin down what I think I want
It slips away - the ghost slips away
I smell you on my hand for days
I can't wash away your scent
If I'm a dog then you're a bitch
I guess you're as real as me
Maybe I can live with that
Maybe I need fantasies
A life of chasing butterfly
I'm sorry for what I did
I did what my body told me to
I didn't mean to do you harm
Everytime I pin down what I think I want
It slips away - the ghost slips away
I told you I would return
When the robin makes his nest
But I ain't never coming back
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I remembered once ...i did pretty good singing while playing the song on the guitar a very long time ago. Its kinda cool playing an acoustic song but then alterit and improvised with drums and distortion. Sang my heart out. I love doing something till my heart is out.
Hope i can do that again someday and perhaps do it forever.
And weezer's is one band that i can never have enough of. but their new album blows. oh well. weeeweeezaaahhh!!!
Hope i can do that again someday and perhaps do it forever.
And weezer's is one band that i can never have enough of. but their new album blows. oh well. weeeweeezaaahhh!!!
Thursday, February 09, 2006
yack yack yack ..what else?
yesterday ...before sunset was screened on astro. I love how the characters draws you into their conversation. Its almost like you are eavesdropping and listening to someone elses conversation. [hafdzuan is a bum]
And i am so into the whole reality thingy. Especially when it involves debates and ideas exchanging over small things to things that is vital in life. [nerdy self obssesed remark]
the plot? there is no plot. Its just a movie about how a day with someone could probably effect someone's life and how it made quite a significant impact on a person that is so appealing to me. [interpertation]
Both celine and jessie are having these difficulties regarding relationships after their one night together on some euro town (refer before sunrise). Jessie unfortunately gives up on the idea of love after celine totally stood him up. They promised to meet at Vienna exactly 6 months from that night and maybe hook up again but unfortunately celine's grandma death came at a bad time and she couldn't make it. [interpretation]
celine on the other hand couldn't top the ecstassy and the way she felt that night with any other guy she's been with. In a way ... she was hurt emotionally coz she couldn't have a guy make her feel like she felt on that night. [interpretation]
The movie questions day to day decisions that we make and how those decision could effect the life ahead of us. But one thing is for sure, love isn;t an option. You can;t choose to fall in love or choose who you would want to fall in love with. we don't even know what is the true concept of love. What's your definition of love. what does it mean? a guy loves a woman? is it sexual? guy + woman = sexual? is it JUST some sort of a psychology thing that we cannot control to makes us feel good to be wanted? How do you as a person justify you are in love? Is it the sacrifice? the whole notion of being together all the time. REspect? Can love stop divorces? Can it stop guys from scouting girls? Love seems adiabatic in songs and movies. It's always i love you and i would die for you. would ya? [way off the mark]
The matter is so subjective and celine ....together with jessie made it so clear that it is. It's just something you would one day question whether you are single or attached. [wild random guess]
Different people place varying degrees of importance on the kinds of love they receive. Love is essentially an abstract concept, easier to experience than to explain. [copy paste]
And also how they talked about dreams and shit. That is so true. Pursuing something doesn't mean you will always get it no matter how hard you try. Once you realize that, you will throw away the thought of pursuing dreams and just take the quiet comfortable certain life where there are no or little risks involve. But without dreams, doing something seems so "survival". Everything we do seems to serve as some sort of a way to maintain survival in this world. School, jobs bla bla ... that's all tools to survive if you ask me. Knowledge? Wisdom? Passion? In a system that i know ...these words are just words. These words should be principals in doing something. [opinion]
And the ending is just danggling for anyone to figure out. Coz life has a danggling ending i guess. That's just my interpretation. [opinion]
But, what i fear is almost certainly would happen, as i am part of the system. And no hero can fight it. [fact]
So lets go do our thing and survive. [opinion]
Get a job that pays mohd hafdzuan! Watching astro and blogging isn;t exactly a profitable job. [fact]
And i am so into the whole reality thingy. Especially when it involves debates and ideas exchanging over small things to things that is vital in life. [nerdy self obssesed remark]
the plot? there is no plot. Its just a movie about how a day with someone could probably effect someone's life and how it made quite a significant impact on a person that is so appealing to me. [interpertation]
Both celine and jessie are having these difficulties regarding relationships after their one night together on some euro town (refer before sunrise). Jessie unfortunately gives up on the idea of love after celine totally stood him up. They promised to meet at Vienna exactly 6 months from that night and maybe hook up again but unfortunately celine's grandma death came at a bad time and she couldn't make it. [interpretation]
celine on the other hand couldn't top the ecstassy and the way she felt that night with any other guy she's been with. In a way ... she was hurt emotionally coz she couldn't have a guy make her feel like she felt on that night. [interpretation]
The movie questions day to day decisions that we make and how those decision could effect the life ahead of us. But one thing is for sure, love isn;t an option. You can;t choose to fall in love or choose who you would want to fall in love with. we don't even know what is the true concept of love. What's your definition of love. what does it mean? a guy loves a woman? is it sexual? guy + woman = sexual? is it JUST some sort of a psychology thing that we cannot control to makes us feel good to be wanted? How do you as a person justify you are in love? Is it the sacrifice? the whole notion of being together all the time. REspect? Can love stop divorces? Can it stop guys from scouting girls? Love seems adiabatic in songs and movies. It's always i love you and i would die for you. would ya? [way off the mark]
The matter is so subjective and celine ....together with jessie made it so clear that it is. It's just something you would one day question whether you are single or attached. [wild random guess]
Different people place varying degrees of importance on the kinds of love they receive. Love is essentially an abstract concept, easier to experience than to explain. [copy paste]
And also how they talked about dreams and shit. That is so true. Pursuing something doesn't mean you will always get it no matter how hard you try. Once you realize that, you will throw away the thought of pursuing dreams and just take the quiet comfortable certain life where there are no or little risks involve. But without dreams, doing something seems so "survival". Everything we do seems to serve as some sort of a way to maintain survival in this world. School, jobs bla bla ... that's all tools to survive if you ask me. Knowledge? Wisdom? Passion? In a system that i know ...these words are just words. These words should be principals in doing something. [opinion]
And the ending is just danggling for anyone to figure out. Coz life has a danggling ending i guess. That's just my interpretation. [opinion]
But, what i fear is almost certainly would happen, as i am part of the system. And no hero can fight it. [fact]
So lets go do our thing and survive. [opinion]
Get a job that pays mohd hafdzuan! Watching astro and blogging isn;t exactly a profitable job. [fact]
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
to hell with time
As of today, i can drive like an asshole legally. But the actual license is currently in process so i have to ...arghhh.... WAIT!
I arrived at where the test is taking place around 8.40 am and i head straight to the counter for registration. Then I have to endure 4 hours of waiting, holding my piss and anxiety to finally get called upon and go through the whole test .. again.
I couldn't believe i've waited for that long.
I hate waiting especially if you don't have something amusing or entertaining to make the wait worthwhile. I should've borrowed someone's NgageQD for the day. Anyway, they gave this number and all i did during the whole waiting period is listen for my number to be called upon and look at cute and sexy chicks. An hour passed..then another hour .. .the third hour i gave up waiting. But the chick surveying still goes on ...strong. :)
It was hot and annoying, i was hungry and needed to piss but i can't leave coz the risk of the JPJ dudes calling my number. So there i was waiting, looking at people getting picked and cursed at how lucky they are getting selected so early.
Adreneline was pumped throughout my veins as early as 9 am and everytime they call out a number my body would generate more of these hormones and by 11 am... I've wasted a gland full of adrenaline. I felt weak, hopeless and i hate myself for failing the test weeks before. How the hell can i do the test now feeling so shitty physically and mentally?
I was as energetic as a dead cold fish, hungry and it shows . I know i have this face when i'm hungry. I'd put on a grumpy face. Hunger + waiting + tests = bitch. But i can;t get grumpy in front of the JPJ officer and somehow i just said to myself just go on with it. WHatever happens happens. I'm here and let's get through this. And then... the JPJ dude talked to me...and asked me how i'd failed last time and i told him the lines on the road fucked me up and then suddenly he asked me to make a turn and said we don;t need to do this. We don;t have enough time. And i went through everything like a basketcase on speed. He told me to just go over the 30km/h limit... and i did that. And i forgot everything.. and i just let my Need for speed most wanted instinct kick in and then i'm done. It's over. i passed.
I was like ..how? i did worse then before. how the hell can a government officer became so friendly? Then summing it all together .. i made a rather interesting conclusion.
The wait was a blessing in disguise. One thing about people that i know for sure is that .. people hate to wait. WE hate being bored. ANd this also applies to the JPJ officers. They have to do the same thing over and over and over again and i know it's boring. And when they're hot and hungry they just wan't to get it overwith. .. . I guess him taking pity on me coz i failed and looked hopeless .......and, him being hot in that little car with an empty stomach gave him a reason that came from the gut to just let me pass. The kinda thing you would do when an elder seems in need of help and you instinctly just lend him a hand. It was chemistry. I got 18/20 and i know i don;t deserve it. But he wasn't concentrating on me. He was concentrating on getting his job done. And i was lucky he made that call.
So i got outta the car and with the test marks slip in my hand .... i observe the proof of this miracle that i have just experienced. But i forgot to thank God,...... so on the way back while reading the slip ... i hit my head on an Air cond unit and everyone who was waiting for their turn laughed ...and i was like ...smiling back at them as if i was an innocent nude boy on the beach.
Taking the driving test is a once in a lifetime experience but in my case .. it's a twice in a lifetime experience but i'm loving it ....
I arrived at where the test is taking place around 8.40 am and i head straight to the counter for registration. Then I have to endure 4 hours of waiting, holding my piss and anxiety to finally get called upon and go through the whole test .. again.
I couldn't believe i've waited for that long.
I hate waiting especially if you don't have something amusing or entertaining to make the wait worthwhile. I should've borrowed someone's NgageQD for the day. Anyway, they gave this number and all i did during the whole waiting period is listen for my number to be called upon and look at cute and sexy chicks. An hour passed..then another hour .. .the third hour i gave up waiting. But the chick surveying still goes on ...strong. :)
It was hot and annoying, i was hungry and needed to piss but i can't leave coz the risk of the JPJ dudes calling my number. So there i was waiting, looking at people getting picked and cursed at how lucky they are getting selected so early.
Adreneline was pumped throughout my veins as early as 9 am and everytime they call out a number my body would generate more of these hormones and by 11 am... I've wasted a gland full of adrenaline. I felt weak, hopeless and i hate myself for failing the test weeks before. How the hell can i do the test now feeling so shitty physically and mentally?
I was as energetic as a dead cold fish, hungry and it shows . I know i have this face when i'm hungry. I'd put on a grumpy face. Hunger + waiting + tests = bitch. But i can;t get grumpy in front of the JPJ officer and somehow i just said to myself just go on with it. WHatever happens happens. I'm here and let's get through this. And then... the JPJ dude talked to me...and asked me how i'd failed last time and i told him the lines on the road fucked me up and then suddenly he asked me to make a turn and said we don;t need to do this. We don;t have enough time. And i went through everything like a basketcase on speed. He told me to just go over the 30km/h limit... and i did that. And i forgot everything.. and i just let my Need for speed most wanted instinct kick in and then i'm done. It's over. i passed.
I was like ..how? i did worse then before. how the hell can a government officer became so friendly? Then summing it all together .. i made a rather interesting conclusion.
The wait was a blessing in disguise. One thing about people that i know for sure is that .. people hate to wait. WE hate being bored. ANd this also applies to the JPJ officers. They have to do the same thing over and over and over again and i know it's boring. And when they're hot and hungry they just wan't to get it overwith. .. . I guess him taking pity on me coz i failed and looked hopeless .......and, him being hot in that little car with an empty stomach gave him a reason that came from the gut to just let me pass. The kinda thing you would do when an elder seems in need of help and you instinctly just lend him a hand. It was chemistry. I got 18/20 and i know i don;t deserve it. But he wasn't concentrating on me. He was concentrating on getting his job done. And i was lucky he made that call.
So i got outta the car and with the test marks slip in my hand .... i observe the proof of this miracle that i have just experienced. But i forgot to thank God,...... so on the way back while reading the slip ... i hit my head on an Air cond unit and everyone who was waiting for their turn laughed ...and i was like ...smiling back at them as if i was an innocent nude boy on the beach.
Taking the driving test is a once in a lifetime experience but in my case .. it's a twice in a lifetime experience but i'm loving it ....
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